I could not possibly relate to you more!!! Unfortunately a lot of times, my bf has not been the safe person to go to. Once we found out about my Mom having cancer, right away that weekend he was so there for me. But once it was about a week in and my depression was getting worse, all of the sudden he seems mad at me all the time again.
And that's what happens for us when I am depressed. He is mad at me for it and we get into all kinds of fights. For awhile there things were great, but since I had to stop the antidepressants and with all that is going on, the depression is back and so is our old pattern.....
I totally understand you going back and back to him for support when you know it could very well end badly for you. I do the same thing. Why? Because we've lived together for 5 years! He is there with me everyday! If I lived with one of my friends, well then they would be the person I would turn to the most. But our spouses are in our lives every single day; they see the illness and so we figure they will get it? I think we turn to them too, because isn't it supposed to be in sickness and in health no matter what? He is the one person that loves me in that special way so I just feel like the empathy should come naturally?
Anyway, rambling.....I didn't like that part about your therapist. Is there any way you could request individual sessions, stressing the fact that the current sessions are to no benefit for you????
You are not totally alone. You have us here; I know it's not the same, but still, I am thinking of you and please know I truly know what you are going through ((((Hugs))))
Thank you for your reply. We and our SO certainly do sound alike. I don't think my husband will ever change and I need to stop for my own mental health to stop going to him hoping the outcome will be different. I am trying to track down an old therapist who was very good for me years ago, except he might be retired. If he is I am kicking my husband out of my sessions with my doc. I honestly don't think they realize how much they have excluded me. My issues never get addressed. Sigh!!! Trying to decide whether to cancel my clients today...I am not in much of a "counselor" mode. Think I need to crash for a day. Hope all goes well for you. Keep me posted.
First of all, by all means consider becoming a counselor as long as you keep your mind in the helping mode without getting overwhelmed. Being BP and a counselor you have to be willing to take off work for your mental. Like today I felt totally overwhelmed and upset so I cancelled my clients for the day, stayed home, napped and read. Now I feel fine to tackle work again. Every2-3 months I schedule a week off to do as I want. In other words, you have to be extra special to take good care of yourself to be a good counselor. As far as your own issues do get triggered....it happens frequently, BUT if you know your issues and you recognize that is what is going on, you should do OK. It's sort of a Darn it, there goes getting my buttons pushed on that topic. If you are unaware of your issues, then it is hard to be objective. The one kind of client I cannot work with is someone is really super bi-polar because I get triggered all over the place until I am too overwhelmed to help them. You mentioned something about me being a counselor and you didn't understand how I couldn'y figure out some things myself.. When I have my own problem I find I am too emotinal to be objective and using couselor techniques on myself just don't work.
Sigh!! That is sad you lost your favorite counselor. I do think she goofed by not having a session or two with you to talk about our feelings re: the transfer. I might throw in here that counselors also in some cases feel very sad when a "favorite" client finishes up counseling and the counselor is no longer needed. I have been counseling for 18 years, and I gave several clients I still miss. It is absolutely normal for you to feel sad. You can aleays do something like send her a christmas card (obviously when Xmas gets here...LOL) with a short note how you are feeling and doing. As counselors, we love to "hear" from past clients. Sometimes I hear from ones I saw 10 years ago. You do need to grieve the loss of your counselor
When I went on Facebook a lot of my old clients found me there.
I have told my husband, he was no longer welcome in my therapy sessions. Tfat my doc and he were a little to chummy and leaving me out. He will have to trust I will tell him whatever I choose as far as what when on in the session but he also has to accept there are things that need to be dealt (like my husband) that will be just between the doc and me.
I think I hurt his feelings but too bad. He hurts mine all the time. Yesterday he told me I HAD to stop acting bi=polar because he was at the end of his rope. IIr has been a rough, but it has been hatd for everyone involved with me and his lack of support actually made things much more worse. Until 3 years ago (I was diagnosed officially 18 years ago) He says he rhought I was faking being bi-polar. I was very,very upset when he told me that, But if he thought I was faking, it did his explain his lack of support in thr past.. How the hell does one fake being bi-polar???? Especially when there were numerous stays in the hospital.
Well, I have to get back to bed. Thank you for responding to me.