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Voix
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 218
   Posted 5/15/2010 4:55 PM (GMT -7)   
It's kind of a situation I'm in.
My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up for a month now.
He still remains to be the only person I am close to despite us being broken up.
My bipolar destroyed our relationship. I know that now. It's not all my fault, but in the end it's the cause.
I can't even begin to explain how much I miss him. I'm not over him at all. A month later and I feel so much regret and pain whenever i am down.
When I'm feeling okay, I don't miss him at all. But when I am depressed, it's all I can think about.

I am thinking of shutting him out of my life. We have a lot of mutual friends and ties and I am thinking about breaking all of them.
It might be in my best interest that I no longer contact him.
We are apart for the summer but in the fall we are living on the same floor of the same dorm at our college. there's nothing I can do to change this, i've already paid my housing deposit and everything.
I just can't stand to be friends with him on facebook and constantly be reminded that we're not together anymore every time I look at his profile, etc.
I'm thinking of deleting him and all of our mutual friends and asking him to please stop contacting me. it's hard for me to even imagine my life without his support, he is still here for me every step of the way when I am feeling blue and need someone to talk to.
I just think he's more of the cause of my depression than the solution. i have so many mood swings when i look at his profile and i see him interacting with the girl i thought he was cheating on me with (that he turned out not to be)
should i remove him from my life? am i better off without my best friend?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40603
   Posted 5/15/2010 5:13 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi again,

I would say if it makes you uncomfortable, do what is right for you. If not having any contact is better than cut ties. But you have to realize that you probably will see him sometime in the future so you need to get use to it or prepare yourself for that. That is if contact is unavoidable. It sounds like you have to work on this. Try to get on with life without him. And accept the fact that you may see him somewhere in the future. I think you can do this. You just have to put your mind to it.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


Cheryl1018
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2003
Total Posts : 267
   Posted 5/15/2010 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi. I lost my marriage of ten years to my bi-polar. I didn't know it then but I know it now. I went thru a major crash in depression when the mania was over and I lost him for good. However, we are still friendly but from a distance like emails, occasional gathering etc. I couldn't imagine a life with him completely gone, even if its to chat for a few minutes on the phone.

That being said.....do you think you could have a chat with your ex? I assume he knows about your BP. Tell him how much he means to you but that at this point you need to heal yourself before you can be around him. Maybe he will understand and want to be your friend and still be there if you need a true friend. Focus on your own health and try to get a new circle of friends that does not involve your ex.

Be well....hope that helps!
Complete Hysterectomy 1991 due to Endo
BP/IBD
Migraines - bad ones!! Ow.
Save a life - adopt a shelter dog!!
 


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 5/18/2010 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi voix,

You are in a tough situation. I am not sure how old you are, but when i was in my first year of college, my first love of my life and I broke up after being together for over a year....It was devastating to me. I of course experienced the depression and the mood swings, it was awful. But like you, we had mutual friends. So much so, that his friends became my best friends. So I couldn't possibly cut the ties. Things would have been so different if I would have. In your situation, with being on the same floor in the dorms in the fall, I really do believe you have to prepare yourself this summer, while at the same time, try to get over him.

I do believe you can do both. Maybe taking him off of facebook would be the best thing; but not losing the friends you have? That way it might not be a total culture shock when you see him in the fall?? I wonder if you eliminate everything completely, you will crash so much harder in the fall? I hope I am not confusing you.

Basically if it were me, I would try and just get through the pain (keeping the friends....hearing stories about him, running into him etc) because time DOES heal, and that way by fall I would hope to be in a much better place because I made it through the worst of it????

Take special care of yourself, my heart goes out to you.

Mogs

 


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Methoprazine 6 mg/day, Lexapro 10 mg/day  & Lamictal 400 mg/day.

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