New to board, Husband went to doc today, Bipolar and "other things"

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Hoosier mom of four
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/17/2010 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello everyone, I am hoping to get some advice and some helpful info.
 
I have been married X 7 + years.  My husband has alot of complex issues.  I guess I've always known there was some mental disorders in some way, but not sure how serious it is.  When we met he was an alcoholic, and has tried several times to stop.  He usually does well for several months just to relapse again.  Of course, this has caused havoc in our relationship.  To me he's come across as depressed.  Alcohol made him happy, relaxed and I know it was his way of medicating himself.  I have been trying to get him to see a psychiatrist but until now he didn't really want to (he's very anti-meds)
 
Saw the doc today, went over alot, family history, his history, our stuff...the doc told him there are several things going on w/ him and he can't really diagnosis him right now after first visit b/c there are just too many different issues.  DH finally agreed to go a few weeks ago after having many panic attacks, the last one on friday has lasted for days.  Not sure if it's really panic attack, but that's how he described it.  We debated ER several times, finally today he called me at work and said he needed to see the doc today, he couldn't wait another day or hour.  They had him come in.
 
Doc said first off we need to treat the manic issues, he spoke about bipolar and manic depression.  I wondered of bipolar, but it's only been in the last 6-12 months his mood swings are BAD.  He has no Patience, always angry.  But then next he could be obsessively cleaning house and trying to be sweet and loving, only to snap someone's head off again.  He hasn't sleep well in about 2 weeks.
 
Doc gave him Serequel to take at night and Trileptal, (generic)
 
I have some questions.  When can he expect to feel better?  Or know if they are working?
 
Many times our family docs he's seen tried him on many anti-depressants but he's overly sensitive to meds (even benedryl) so he couldn't take them, they caused more anxiety. 
 
What kind of changes should I (as the wife) start to see in him w/ the meds, considering they work correctly?
 
I am praying for some kind of miracle.  If something doesn't change I can't stay, and we have 4 great kids who love us both so much and I hate to separate but this is horrible.  He's just not a nice person.

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 5/18/2010 6:23 AM (GMT -7)   
 
   First Hi, and welcome. You have a few issues so lets try and address them.
 
  Now in important big and bold letters YOUR MARRIAGE AND LIFE ARE NOT DOOMED. Medication can and does make a huge change in who we are. However there is a couple of things here to know. 1, it takes many of us several medication changes to find what works for us. We start on one, works ok, doctor tries another, not so good, try a third and hopefully its successful.  2. He has to want to get better and to take his meds every day. Many BP people go off their meds because it feels so different from what they lived thier whole  life with.
 
   You need to give it a little time to see if his meds work, and if he will take them and take responsibility for his condition. By that i mean it isnt his fault he is BP, however now that he knows what the monster is, it is his responsibility to deal with it and take his meds. Yes there will be crappy side effects (i got soem weight gain and hair loss) but if thats what it takes for him to be a good dad and father than it shouldnt be an issue. However med changes take time to adjust and get used to. I am on a year and a half of my main med, and it has required a bit of work to get the dose just right. But i am happy now and well adjusted and being a good father and husband.
 
   You can also listen to him when he needs to talk, and consol him when the meds have bad side effects. But at the end of the day meds are the only real way of seeing any kind of change. THere  are not a lot of success stories of people living with BP without meds and being successful.
 
  GOod luck.  Bill

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 5/18/2010 7:17 AM (GMT -7)   

I used to think It's Genetic was a little nuts with all the diet posts.  But now I am on a grain-free, no sugar diet and I feel fantastic. 

I lost 8 pounds and 4 inches off my waist in 3 days!  While eating pork ribs, veggies soaked in pork fat (yum!), fish slathered in butter, all the cheese I can dream of, and lits of eggs (yum!).

I don't snack (on ice cream) constantly.  Don't feel hungry.  And have A LOT more energy.  I can get through the day without sitting down because I'm tired.  I DO sit down because I'm hopelessly addicted to the internet.  lol
 
I agree with Bill.  If a BP person can understand the condition, accept that it is a life-long condition, and that s/he MUST take responsibility for managing it, life can be good and relationships can work.
 
The beginning of playing with medications is MISERABLE.  The side effects can be disabling.  Drug interactions are not obvious.  Even "harmless" drugs like benadryl can cause serious effects.
 
It took 14 months to find the right medication for me.  14 months of various side effects including, insomnia, stomach ulcer, weight gain, jitters, continued mood swings, difficulty focusing, suicidal depression....  and many more.  Of course I didn't want to stay on medications!
 
BUT, now I am on a medication that COMPLETELY eliminates my symptoms without side effects or affecting my personality.  I have no desire to go off medication.  I begin having symptoms 12 hours after missing a dose or 12 hours after having caffiene.
 
Check back and let us know how things are going.  :)
 
 
Bipolar 2
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


Hoosier mom of four
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/18/2010 3:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Well last night he took both the Seroquel and the Tripoline.  He was so anxious he was sick.  He didn't sleep and this AM he was complaining he wasn't going to keep doing that.
 
He did call doc...doc said it's more than likely the Serequel that did it, so he won't take that one but take the other one.  Which he takes twice a day.  So far he's okay on that one.
 
What else other than Serequel may work?
Me:  33 yr old full time employee, part time Nursing student, full time mom to 4 children.
        Taking 100mg Zoloft since delivering my last child.  Feeling happy and good.
 
 
DH:  34 yr old landscaper, recently laid off, in school for Biotechnology, dad to 2 bio
        daughters and step father to 2 great boys.
  • History of substance abuse
  • Depression
  • Sexual abuse as young child (never dealt with)
  • Severe sensitivity to medications of any kind.
  • Recently DX'd with manic depression, Bipolar for starters.  Dr. said many more to come.
  • Started Serequel and Tirlopine tonight, follow up next week w/ doctor

DS1: 14 yr old boy, classic teen, HX of depression, controlled with zoloft and abilify,            currently med free x 4 years.

DS2:  Athletic 9 yr old boy, healthy and smart, but shy.  Becoming worried about his      inability to sleep soundly, thinks he sees things in dark on and off.

DD1: 7 yr old blond beauty, thankfully no issues.

DD2:  Speech delayed, DX'd with Cognitive Social Disorder. No meds required.


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 5/18/2010 3:52 PM (GMT -7)   
 
   When i got diagnosed they tried me on 30mg of ablilify, which helped a bit, think of a small cup of coffee on a sleep day. THen they switched me to respirdal, which felt like a double expresso with a mountain dew chaser. LOL LOL LOL  My main problems with BP were the mainas, so that was what they were  treating first. After i got settled into my new med, i discovered i started to have some real depression issues. So we got an antidepresant for that.
 
   After about 8 months of feeling stable, i mean really stable, I  realized that i felt ok and took myself off the antidepresant because of side effects (weight gain, and sex drive lose)  However i did this with my Pdoc and kept a carefull lookout for return of depression.  When no depression returned i work with my Pdoc to reduce my respirdal. Mainly i wanted some of the old "zing" of life back, but just a little bit, not the out of control part. So over the course of three months we reduced my respirdal to half of my original doseage. Now i live a life with hypomanias every day (think lots of good energy) and a normal sex drive (nice to have that back) LOL LOL LOL
 
   All that said it is a balancing act that i work at here. I have to constantly pay attention to my moods and issues and know when i am getting out of control. THen if i feel that i am i take a double dose of my respirdal for a couple of days to get me over the hump.
 
   All this has take almost two years to figure out and get to this point. I have had some close calls, no doubt. But i have so much more control over the compulsions that were ruining my life before. Still i cant never, ever let my guard down or BP will bite me in the butt.
 
   This is a marathon, and there will definetly be bad days. But if he keeps on the meds, despite side effects, than his chances of success are greatly improved. 
 
   Good luck and keep posting if you need questions answered.
 
    Bill 

horse crazy
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 199
   Posted 5/19/2010 1:01 AM (GMT -7)   
It can really be trial and error as far as which meds work for who.  Now I am on 400 to 500 mg of seroquel among other things and seroquel helped me more than any med.  Your husband (and you) have to be patient.  Very important to work closely with the pdoc.  Over the zillion years I have been BP  I have found that most side eefects that are really bothersome at first usually disappear after a couple weeks.If your hubby becomes non-compliant and quits working at this, then you have some tough decisions to make.  Be prepared for improvement if he stays on meds, buta total "cure" is unlikely.  Over the years I can't even begin to tell you how many times my  meds have been adjusted, changed, etc., because I start getting unstable again.  My husband has learned when he needs to intervene and when he needs to distance himself and just let things straighten themselves out.

Horse Crazy
Bi-polarII; rapid cycler; Lithium 900 mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg
 


Hoosier mom of four
New Member


Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 5/19/2010 7:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for reply. He has still been able to do just the one med without the Serequol. So that's good. We will need to find something that works as the Seroquel did. He was scheduld to follow up friday, but he is going fishing so moved that up to Tuesday, then I can't go either so I'm bummed. I feel I need to be there.
Me:  33 yr old full time employee, part time Nursing student, full time mom to 4 children.
        Taking 100mg Zoloft since delivering my last child.  Feeling happy and good.
 
 
DH:  34 yr old landscaper, recently laid off, in school for Biotechnology, dad to 2 bio
        daughters and step father to 2 great boys.
  • History of substance abuse
  • Depression
  • Sexual abuse as young child (never dealt with)
  • Severe sensitivity to medications of any kind.
  • Recently DX'd with manic depression, Bipolar for starters.  Dr. said many more to come.
  • Started Serequel and Tirlopine tonight, follow up next week w/ doctor

DS1: 14 yr old boy, classic teen, HX of depression, controlled with zoloft and abilify,            currently med free x 4 years.

DS2:  Athletic 9 yr old boy, healthy and smart, but shy.  Becoming worried about his      inability to sleep soundly, thinks he sees things in dark on and off.

DD1: 7 yr old blond beauty, thankfully no issues.

DD2:  Speech delayed, DX'd with Cognitive Social Disorder. No meds required.

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