This has been my longest manic episode yet and it is killing me. I am so out of control, but do not want to change my meds because they are normally a good cocktail for me. I have no one to talk to about
the things I'm doing. I am not suicidal right now, but I can feel the depression coming on and do not know what will happen. I know no one on the site can help with this, but I just needed to get it off my mind and tell someone. I am trying to make the madness stop but I keep doing things over and over that are not right, and the guilt is getting to me. I am using my ativan more than normal because of the anxiety and irritablility but sometimes that does not even help. I think sometimes my bp has put me into situations that are hard to get out of and I hate that about
this disease. People at work never know anything about
what I am really feeling though I want to screem sometimes. I think one of the hardest things about
this episode is I am obsessed with someone and it is not a good thing, don't get me wrong it is mutual but I need to stop. Any words of advise.