Recenly I woke up in yhe morning and no sense of dread of starting a new day. I felt like the "old" me, before the BP mowed me over and I lost the real me years & years ago And for 6 whole days I felt "normal" and no, I was not hypomanic. I was relaxed, could do stuff without a huge effort. I went to the movies with the kids....I never do that. The biggest problem for me being BP is usually total apathy towards most everything I including my family and riding my horse). I spend most of my time fluctuating between suicidal depression and milder depression. And throw in a few and far between hypomanic days. So reverting back to feeling like the old me...interested in life, calm, interacting with the family, no mood swings, riding my horse and most of all, feeling totally content and happy. It was weird....as I said, It has been years since I felt like that. Then after 6 days it ended as abuptly as it started. I was so disappointed and very sad. Those 6 days made me realize what I lost being BP.
With that loss, I went back into my depressed mode. When I look back on those 6 days, I mostly remember the problem free days I was having and looking forward to each day. Has anyone else had that happen? Like have the BP temporarily disappear and you go back in time to a "normal" state? Did you feel sad when that mood then disappeared? It has left me with a deep longing to go back there, but it seems it is nothing I have control of. I think my family was as disappointed as I was.
Bi-polarII; rapid cycler; Lithium 900 mg; Lamictal 200 mg; seraquel 450mg, klonopin 4mg