Thank you all so much for you kind words. They mean a lot.
I am back at work right now; things are like I never left. No work piled up, nothing. Great. I was hoping things would pile up so I would have work to do, but that's not the case.
Anyway, out of my one med which was part of the problem of missing doses, but it should be filled today. I am back to mood charting this morning and journaling right now.
I am thinking of writing a letter to bf. We are in serious trouble. The tension between us has affected me so much. I am wondering about the love between us; that it has been damaged. This is the second biggest stressor for me right now.
I will not be drinking for a very long time. My one girlfriend said the other night when we were out that it was so much fun she wanted to go out once a month! Aw, unfortunately that is something I cannot do. I have always liked to have a few here and there to unwind, but to get drunk, I don't even want to do that anymore at this point. I should have known better with all that I am going through. Anyway I will keep your words in mind that I am doing the right thing in sharing my honesty and realizing what my next steps need to be.
Thanks for your encouragement and faith that I will get through this.
Hey mogs. Let me say that this acceptance didnt happen over night. It took years to learn how to live this way. Years and lots of mistakes, god lots of mistakes.
However as you get older sometimes acceptance becomes easier. That and i think my meds have helped me find this peace also. It was only after i didnt have the distractions of living with out of control BP that i was able to take the time to find this in myself.
Dont give up and dont get discouraged. Life is a journey that has no defined end. We just play the game as long as we can and learn what we can along the way. At the end i feel if i can look in the mirror and say i honestly did my best, than i will be happy with myself.