You have been very lucky to have had someone in your life for 25 years that has helped you so much. If you are to lose him it will be a huge loss, however it will open the door to meet someone new. This new person will have new insights and perspective to help you along.
It is a loss and you should and will grieve. However you are strong enough to over come this and move on. How do i know this? Because looking back on all that you said he helped you with over the last 25 years, he was a small part of your success. The bulk of your seccess came from your own ability to adapt, grow, change, and learn over those years to help yourself solve the problems that life had placed in front of you.
You have every right to be proud of your accomplishments the last 25 years, and for you, thankfully, god sent you some help in the form of a friend to giv eyou some advice now and again. But in the end it was all you horse crazy that made it happen. At the end of the day it was still you alone in the dark with what was going on inside of you that allowed you to overcome the obstactles that were in front of you.
Hide under a blanket if you want to, however i bet you will soon find that you are more than able to stand on your own two feet. Not only stand but stand strong and tall.
"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill
Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.