First you are not whining, this is a great place to vent. And really we understand what you are going thru because we all have been there and know the way home.
Getting a appoitment is a good thing, you may just need a antidepresant to get you thru the rough days of summer. FOr me its jan and feb that hurt so bad. SO during that time i take celexa as needed, then once i get to spring and get riding my depressions mostly go completely away.
And sometimes on the lesser depressions (No sucidial thoughts or deep deressions) i just accept that it is what it is and tommrrow will be a better day.
Good luck and keep posting. We are all here to listen and help.
"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill
Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.