My latest visit to pdoc

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havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/8/2010 3:09 PM (GMT -7)   
This afternoon I went to see my pdoc because things have gotten so bad. I gave him a list of what's going on with me: I've lost my appetite. I feel nauseated in the mornings. (Nope, not pregnant.  ;-)  ) I'm feeling agoraphobic, which I haven't felt in ages. I feel panicked much of the time. My heart is pounding much of the time. My hands shake. I feel shaky on the inside. I feel "unreal," as though I'm walking around in a dream. I feel like I'm going crazy. I have lost interest in absolutely everything. School starts in six weeks, and I'm really worried that I won't be able to go. I feel worse than I've ever felt. (I did go volunteer at the hospice house after the appointment, and it was really hard not to burst into tears while I was there.)
 
My doc admits that he is totally puzzled and has no idea what to do. He figures, though, that being on antidepressants over the years is what brought me to this place. So, he's having me slowly get off Lexapro, the antidepressant I'm on. And he's having me get off Mirapex/Pramipexole, which is supposed to have an antidepressant effect, and which hasn't worked.
 
He's keeping me on Topamax and on Clonazepam. He's added Vistaril/Hydroxyzine for the nausea I've been feeling.
 
My doc also mentioned me going into the local psych ward, but he wasn't pushing this too hard. I have yet to hear a good explanation of why I should go into a psych ward and what can be done for me there, so at least so far, I'm not going. He mentioned electroconvulsive shock therapy again, but said we had time before doing that.
 
I am feeling so utterly discouraged. My doc has said I'm one of his most difficult patients, and that doesn't make me feel great. Nice to be going to a doc who doesn't have a clue what to do to help one.
 
Sorry to be sounding so grim, but boy, I can certainly understand why people give up. If I weren't so ignorant about suicide and such an utter coward about it, I'd be giving up, too.
 
Discouragedly yours,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Lexapro, 5 mg; Mirapex, 2.5 mg; Topamax, 50 mg


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40599
   Posted 7/8/2010 3:51 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Havana,

I am sorry you feel so discouraged. Know that I am thinking of you at this time. I hope that you feel better soon. I am sure that you will. Try not to stress about the future. And try to be optimistic about it and going to school. These things could actually help you.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/8/2010 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your kind note, Karen. I realize that I am indeed stressing about the future. Actually, I seem to be stressing about everything! And I don't feel optimistic about anything. It's hard to feel optimistic when my own doc doesn't have the faintest idea what to do with me. <sigh> All I seem to do is worry. Thanks much for your concern.

Warmly,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/8/2010 4:30 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm sorry I have nothing to say today - I am stuck in my own head. My parents just came and picked up my son for overnight.
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 40599
   Posted 7/9/2010 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Try not to worry, take things as they come. One at a time. Know that we all care about you and know that I am thinking of you at this time. I hope that you are having a good day.

Not so hot here, I mean temperature wise. Finally starting to cool down. It was hot and muggy for a week, we are finally getting a break. Now I have no excuse not to do housework.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
 
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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