Coping methods that have helped me in small ways.

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happy bill
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 7/10/2010 12:46 AM (GMT -7)   
 
   Small goals=Small Successes  Creates in me at least, a cycle of success to build upon. I will have a list of  small items  that i want to get done. When i get home from my long day at work, it makes me feel good to get a few of these small items out of the way. Even if it is no more involved than doing the dishes, making a fuit salad, or doing some laundry. I dont go to bed feeling like i got nothing accomplished.
 
    Excersise:   As much and as often as i can. Some times life just keeps you from getting stuff done, but when i get the chance i try to get out there and ride or hike as much as i can. Something about excersise really helps my BP. Plus it seems to help clear the sprit and mind.
 
 
    Forgiveness. Of others and myself. I try my hardest to forgive so i dont end up carrying hate or hurt in my heart.  In the end i like to feel i am more successful than not.  Heck i have to live each day, might as well live those days happy as opposed to being filled with hurt and hate.
 
    These are just a few small things i have found to help myself along. 
 
   Cant wait to hear yours.
 
    Bill                                                    
 
   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
 
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
 
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/10/2010 12:50 AM (GMT -7)   
Good to see you online again Bill. Are you OK?
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 7/10/2010 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Yea, i'm fine. Just been way busy with family stuff the last two weeks, working way to hard. Things are calming down but i can feel the toll that much upheavel had on my brain. Tried to talk to my wife about it, she said that she was tired of hearing about "my" issues. Honestly it felt like she was more upset that the spotlight wasnt on her. Which knowing her as i do is what i suspect, she is very very self centered. Thats where the forgiveness came in, i decided to just forgive her and move on, however i won't forget what she said, it spoke volumes to me about her and my relationship with her.

Since that happend i decided that i was no longer going to try and run my life around her, i am instead going to excersise more and if i want to go somewhere on a day trip thats what i will do. Worst case is that i take big ole Thor with me and we have a good time together. Still i don't know whether its the ADHD or something else but i just refuse to carry negative emotions with me, maybe its a gift that god gave me to help offset the BP. Who knows, i would like to think that god just didnt throw me to the wolves without someways to take care of myself.
Anyway my infection is gone, it took 3 rounds of antibiotics to do it but YAY its dead. I even rode my bike yesterday for the first time in a month, OUCH. LOL LOL LOL But that will change, i am going to ride a lot more.
Thats life in Billville. Workign each day to find a way around, over, under, or thru a problem and if those are all a failure than acceptance.
Bill
 
   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
 
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
 
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/10/2010 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
I think that's a good plan. I think boundaries and separate-ness are important in every relationship, but especially in a BP relationship.

It is definitely something I struggle with!

I know my SO fell in love with me because of my hypomanic/manic independence. I was a go-getter that wouldn't wait around for anyone. But I'm not that person now. I tend to be attached at the hip.

Not a good dynamic. And worse because I stay home and he works. He comes hom to be alone, and I am waiting for him to come home so I have someone to talk to.

I am planning a potential week-long trip acorss the country. I realized that a year ago, I would have never hesitated. Now, I'm disappointed that he doesn't have enough vacation days to come with.

Bill, how do I grow a spine?
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/10/2010 3:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Tortoise, don't beat yourself up! You've gotten used to depending on your SO, so of course you want to make the cross-country trip with him. It makes perfect sense. Of course you're disappointed that he doesn't have enough vacation time to come with you. I think you're gutsy to contemplate the cross-country trip, and I hope you do it. (Me, I was supposed to go away for a week by myself before school started, but things are so iffy at the moment that I don't know if I'll be able to do the trip.)

And our personalities aren't written in stone. You may have been hypomanically/manically independent when you first met him, but you've changed. And being close to someone tends to attach one at the hip, don't you think? And your meds may have caused a change in your personality, as well. I've been in relationships where we're living parallel lives, and that's not great, either. Celebrate where you are in your relationship, and enjoy it for the way it is now.

And I've been there: Working at home, while my spouse worked outside the home. I was eager for him to get home so I could share the day with him. Nowadays, I realize that he could've used some time to decompress when he first got home. But I didn't realize that then. Ah well.

I don't think you need to grow a spine, because I don't think you're spineless. You've just changed. We all change. Change is about the only constant in our lives. So, again, don't beat yourself up over it.

And Bill, I hope that things even out in your relationship. Maybe your wife is crying out for more attention, but she's not doing it too successfully. ;-) We humans aren't always very good at asking for what we want, are we? As someone who's separated from my spouse, I hate to hear about anybody who's separating or divorcing, so I'm hoping that you folks can work out your problems and continue on together.

Warmly,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


GreenTeaHero
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 181
   Posted 7/11/2010 8:42 PM (GMT -7)   
coping methods..

taking a bath. o my gosh it feels good. if i don't have time i'll take a shower. i feel cleaner and shinier and on top of my game.
especially good during depressed times because thats when its hard to motivate to shower.

candles. fire is wonderful and powerful, and candles scent is soothing.

journaling. writing down my thoughts helps make them concrete, gives me a chance to look back on days and say "thats where i was' or "i thought i was fine but look how cracked out iwas writing" or so on.

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 7/12/2010 6:18 AM (GMT -7)   
 
  Green tea, i love the fire idea. We have a wood stove we run a lot during the winter and you are right, it just seems to both relax and refresh at athe same time.
 
   And a shower or a bath is great. Sometimes after a long week at work i take  a five gallon bucket and fill it with ice and water and then just soak my feet. It really helps move the blood and gets them feeling fantastic. 
 
   Bill
 
   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
 
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
 
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.


Jengi
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 7/15/2010 5:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you...I love the forgiving part...I am working very hard on that right now..for myself and others as well..it took me a very long time to get here..and I am trying to live in the moment and for the future..letting the past go...*I wanted to add that music has always been a great release for me..listening and singing and just dancing..it helps me so much..
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