bipolar wife??

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jason05
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/12/2010 10:58 AM (GMT -7)   
of reason to act the way she is. It hurts because #1 the last thing I want to do is keep our child away from her #2 every family ok, here we go. Like most or all of the threads and experiences talked about on this board, myself and family are going through a very difficult and rough time right now. Don't even know where to begin venting at this point. I've been telling stories to family and friends for months now and every one of them have encouraged me to just get out of the relationship. I've been married to my wife for 4 years and have known her for 6 and since the beginning I knew she had a problem with drinking but began to bond with her quickly in our relationship. Then it seemed like I wanted to become a savior or healer in a way to help her deal with a lot of internal issues. She didnt have a good upbringing. Her mom was very young when my wife was born and had abandoned her more than a few times and her dad was an alcoholic with an abusive step mom as well. So that didnt lay a good road for my wife to travel as she began to grow and mature. Like many others I love my wife dearly, I would do anything for her, but at the moment it seems like it might be coming to an end.

The past year especially has been extremely tough, she has been taking methylphenidate which her Dr. prescribed to her last November or so. Since then we have had countless episodes that have led me to be typing in this forum. We live a fairly modest life style, a small ranch home in a nice neighborhood but it seems like we are going to lose it all soon. At the moment since this past week her car is missing, she hasn't been to work in 2 weeks but has also just been 302'ed or involuntarily admitted into a Psychiatric institution.

Her unsafe behavior the past month or so has also led me to keep our 2 year old son away from her which in her eyes gives her a lot member including her side and friends believe I'm doing the right thing at this point. In having this support from them still makes it hard to do and accept but continue to go along with. It's funny, many drinking escapades in the past have made me threaten divorce a few times but of course never really wanted it, which we would make up the next day. But she has filed for divorce this time just about 2 weeks ago. She has been in a very manic state for roughly 2 months now and isn't showing any signs of letting up except for the fact that she is in a hospital as I write this. But even in this hospital she is threatening to take her son back and hates the meds they are putting her on.

Because of the many stories that are very similar I have decided to keep this first post very general but would love to elaborate if any interest is shown. I am really hurting right now and even though I am getting all the support from family I know its my wife that needs it right now but of course is in extream denial of everything and thinks she feels the best she's ever felt.

So my main concern is, when is enough enough??? I have to applaud the folks that decide to stick by there loved one's in times like this because it is extremely difficult to do. I will say that no matter what or how our relationship ends up, I want nothing more than for her to get well and become the mom I know she can be and eable to live an " actually and real happy lifestyle".

jason

jason05
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/12/2010 10:59 AM (GMT -7)   
It seems the first part of my post has been lost some how so I apologize for the confusion, I can rewrite that portion alittle bit later.

thanks

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/12/2010 11:23 AM (GMT -7)   

Come join us in chat.  We're open.  :)


Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder


happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 7/13/2010 8:20 AM (GMT -7)   
 
  Jason, sorry to hear about your plight. This is a very rough and nasty desease that has many ups and downs and no instruction manual.  Right now you need to protect yourself and your baby.  That is number 1.
 
   After that it is all dependet on if her meds work or not, There is some here that have had good luck with meds, others, not so much.  Its a complete mystery why some work and others dont. As for sticking it out or not, thats a tough one. This desease gets worse as we get older, not better. If you work very hard and get good meds, you are often lucky to achieve a truce with it.
 
  Good luck and post more.  We are here to help.
 
   Bill
 
   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
 
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
 
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.


jason05
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 7/13/2010 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Bill, thanks for the honest reply! This is all new to me. Not necessarily her behavior but what the reason for it is. It has only been about a month now that I have come to realize that this could be an illness that she can't control. In saying this, I look back on countless arguments that we've had where I began to get upset and yell at her and ask out of frustration "why are you doing this?" She has struggled with alcohol ever since I have known her and has gotten progressively worse. It's funny though, the day she found out she was pregnant and I mean the same day, she made a commitment to stop drinking, stop smoking and anything else that could hinder the pregnancy. She was perfect through out the pregnancy and even for 1 year after birth. She breast fed for the 1st year of our sons life and continued to stay sober and not smoke even 1 cigarette. But right before and soon after she stopped feeding our son I saw this change in her, she seemed stressed. She would try and tidy up the house and cook dinner and all kinds of things where she felt overloaded. She began to think she had ADHD. She then started to drink again and it escalated to a few situations that were unsafe for her and our son. She set up her own doctor appointments to try and get this riddelin style medication that she wanted because she said she also wanted to loose weight. Well this medication I strongly believe has absolutely enhanced her current condition 10 fold. And to this day as I write this she firmly believes everything is my fault and Im the one who has ruined our marriage. I just talked to her today from the hospital she is admitted in and she wants me to take care of some of the things "she" choose to do in the last week like report her car stolen. I said Im not going to do that, its something you have to take responsibility for. See, she said she wanted to help a few homeless people out this past week and she thinks they may have taken her vehicle. I can understand helping people out but it's the decisions like this time after time that have happened that are telling me to stand back and let her figure it all out. But still really really confused.
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