How long have you been in a depression, and how did you get out of it?

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havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/13/2010 5:59 PM (GMT -7)   
I know you've probably read this from me before, but I've been dragging around in a depression for over two months now, and it shows no sign of going away. Every once in a while, I'll have tiny flickers of feeling OK, but they disappear really quickly. (I'm bipolar 2, FWIW. Or at least that's the current theory. Sometimes, past pdocs have decided I'm simply clinically depressed.)
 
I don't think I've been stuck in a depression for this long a time before. I'm more used to feeling good, then plunging down into a depression, then clawing my way up into something approaching normal, then repeat cycle. This being so depressed for so long has me really worried. (And my pdoc, too, who has no answers. A second opinion will no doubt be in the works, probably once I get over the wonderful withdrawal symptoms of getting off Lexapro, which my pdoc is taking me off very slowly.)
 
So, what's the longest that anyone out there has been in a depression? And how did you get out of it? Was it meds? Or something else? And if it was something else, what was it?
 
Desperately grasping at straws here,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/13/2010 6:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Havana - longest for me would be a few years. Getting a new job, starting/switching school, or other major life change gets me out of depression and into mania.

The last example was actually 8 months of ultraradian cycling mostly between mixed episodes and depression. Getting divorced put me into a 16 month hypomania/mania. Going back to school (being overwhelmed) put me back into depression and cycling again. Withdrawing from school put me in hypomania ...

Aren't you starting school soon? (((hug)))
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
 
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/13/2010 6:50 PM (GMT -7)   
Yep, Tortoise, graduate school starts in about five weeks. ULP.

Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


GreenTeaHero
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2010
Total Posts : 181
   Posted 7/13/2010 9:04 PM (GMT -7)   
hope that will be a change for the better havana! what subject if i may ask??
id just advise to try proactive activities, i guess.
hobbies and such. u kno? walking around, a little moderate exercise, more if you can handle it...

havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/14/2010 8:22 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, GreenTeaHero. Thanks for your note.

I'm going to school to get a master's in social work--so that I can become a counselor!! :-)) Right now, I'm interested in hospice work--I've been volunteering for a local hospice, doing respite work (and lately, also office work) for over 1 1/2 years, and I'm also interested in working with people who have chronic diseases. When I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome, I went to two different rheumatologists for opinions. Each just handed me pain meds, asked which I'd like, and told me that my life was pretty much over. That, I felt, was no way to treat another person. And I'd hope that, as a counselor, I'd be able to help others. (Even if, many times, I can't seem to help myself. ;-( )

I figure that, in my classes, I'll learn about all sorts of areas of social work that I haven't even considered and that I might get interested in. So, I'm not yet sure what my end goal is.

And I admit to being both excited and scared about going back to school. My computer skills aren't that great, and I'm not sure how to make them better. I guess ask people for help whenever I need to.

I hadn't had any interest in knitting for quite a while, which is pretty weird for someone who has a tattoo that reads "Born to Knit" on her arm. :-) But I've gotten back into it again, and I can kinda lose myself in it for a while, which is good. I'm working on a pullover that's pretty mindless. Can't seem to concentrate on much with the continued bliss (?) of the drug withdrawal going on. I should be done withdrawing from Lexapro in about two weeks.

Even though it's hideously hot and muggy, I've been dragging myself and my dog on walks most days. We were just out for a little over a half-hour. I'm sweating, and Eddie the Dog is panting, so we must've gotten some physical good outta that.

Today I go to a knitting group, for which I'm the "go-to" person. That's usually enjoyable, and sometimes I can forget about how lousy I feel for a while.

I find books and lose myself in them for a while, which is also good. And I try to get out of the house and do stuff with my friends. A number of them are away on vacation, which puts a damper on things, at least for the moment.

Tomorrow I see my pdoc AND my therapist. A red letter day! Two docs in one day! Whhoooooo-hoooooooooooooo!

It's just scary for me to feel depressed for so long. I'm used to bouncing back from a depression and feeling better again. I'm scared about being stuck in this depression forever and ever. It makes me realize why people give up.

Thanks, GreeTeaHero, for your words of encouragement. I hope that, even though your therapist's office got mangled in the fire, you'll be able to get in to see him/her really soon. You'd think he/she would have alternative facilities set up somewhere, wouldn't you? How are YOU feeling?

Warmly,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/14/2010 8:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Havana - I admire how you can work through a depression. I can't do any of that stuff!
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
 
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/14/2010 8:57 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for your kind words, Tortoise! I probably sound much more organized than I am. Believe me, I'm not. Much of the time, I just crawl into bed and hope to fall asleep and hide from the whole thing. Really.

This depression ain't liftin', and it's scarin' the crap outta me!

There are so many things I need to accomplish before I go to grad school, and I seem to be utterly frozen in place. Can't do much of anything. Sigh.

Gotta go off to my knitting group. Hope it'll get my mind off ME for a while.

Hugs to you all,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg

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