Withdrawal, yet again

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/18/2010 3:29 PM (GMT -7)   
As I've probably written before, I'm currently going through drug withdrawal from Lexapro, an antidepressant. My pdoc gave it to me when he was weaning me off Effexor, which had worked for me for years and then stopped working. Well, the withdrawal from Effexor went on from around November 2009 to January 2010, and the withdrawal from Lexapro, while going faster, isn't any easier.
 
In some ways, it's harder, cos I expected it to be easier.  ;-)  I'm getting flu-like symptoms: I get cold and chills and shakes, nausea, and generally feel miserable.
 
For about a week or so, falling my pdoc's orders, I was cutting the tablets in quarters. Now I'm still cutting them in quarters, but taking a quarter every other day. That seems to be even harder than taking a quarter of a tab every day; I guess that day going without the quarter tab really knocks me out.
 
So, I've been trying to take it easy, which means sleeping as much as I can.
 
Anyway, if anyone's been wondering where I am, that's where I've been: trying to cope with drug withdrawal. Nuthin' like, to quote someone (GreenTeaHero?) an order of severe depression with a side order of drug withdrawal.  ;-(
 
I hope everybody's doing well.
 
Missed one of the all-day chats, cos my land line and my email went down in a torrential rain storm we had.
 
Love to everybody, and hope you're all doing well,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


red lightening
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 7/18/2010 9:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Havana...hope you start feeling better real soon.
Like Pebbles...we're with you in spirit! Hugs!!!

havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/19/2010 2:45 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks, guys. This means so much to me.

This withdrawal is soooooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. The panic attacks are horrible. I feel almost trapped in the house; going out is scaring me, but I keep on doing it, despite everything. I keep pushing myself to do stuff: to see friends, to spend time with a hospice patient today (I volunteer for a local hospice doing respite care and also office work).

But it's hard, really hard, when everything fills me with terror. Even grocery shopping fills me with terror. I've cautiously increased my clonazepam, which the pdoc said I could do; I'm probably not even increasing it as much as he thought I would, but I don't want to fall asleep at the wheel of my car, and where I live, you have to drive absolutely everywhere. I'm taking hydroxyzine/vistaril for the nausea, and that helps.

I can only hope that, when I have Lexapro out of my system, I'll feel better. My pessimistic self tells me I'll still have the depression to deal with. Right now, about all I'm trying to do is sleep through as much of the day as I can, when I'm not going out.

Thank you guys for thinking of me. It means so much to me.

Love,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 7/20/2010 6:32 AM (GMT -7)   

hi havana,

I'm withdrawling with you. Sigh. Trying to drink lots of water (my bladder doesn't appreciate it).

I've had to go off of everything b/c my insurance company messed up. So along with my body freaking out without meds, I have had that anixety of being without the meds......

I will be going back on everything soon, but that will take a long time; to get back to my dosage....

So I am thinking of you. I know how frustrated you are with meds. Again, I can relate.

Take care,

Mogs


Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed for panic attacks
---temporarily off Lamictal----
Seroquel 50mg/night


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/20/2010 6:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Pebbles and Mogli, thank you so much for the kind and sympathetic words. They mean so much. I am so sick of feeling sick. I keep thinking of checking myself into the local psych ward. If I don't feel better after I'm out of withdrawal--and after the Lexapro has had a chance to get out of my system completely--I may seriously contemplate that. I'm feeling like I'm really melting down. That scares me. I've usually been in control of myself, no matter how lousy I've felt, but I seem to've hit a major meltdown here. I guess it didn't help that I was having a major depression when the pdoc decided to take me off Lexapro. He wants me ONLY on mood stabilizers.

He'd wanted me to start in on Depakote while I was withdrawing from Lexapro, but I don't want to complicate things. I want to be off Lexapro completely and have it out of my system before I try Depakote to see how it affects me. I'd taken it years ago, and it had helped me, but it made me gain weight. Who knows if it will have the same positive effect now?

Right now, I'm on Topamax, and it's made me lose my appetite almost completely. I'd gained weight before the Topamax, but now I've lost about 10 pounds. This is NOT how I've wanted to lose weight, believe me, but I simply have no interest in food. I MAKE myself eat. I don't feel like cooking, so I'm mainly buying Lean Cuisine and such and making myself a salad.

Anyway, if I do badly on Depakote--a friend of mine has warned me that she got really nauseated on Depakote, so now I'm filled with terror that it'll do the same to me--I may seriously consider checking into the local "behavioral health center." Meanwhile, grad school gets ever closer, and I wonder how I will ever handle the stress of it.

Everywhere I turn, there seems like nothing but stress and negativity. I can't think of anything positive at all in my life.

I'm sorry to be rambling on like this and sounding so negative. I guess I'm just spilling my guts to you. I feel so utterly discouraged.

Thank you for listening and for understanding.

Mogs, I'm so sorry you're going through withdrawal, too. It is nothing I would ever wish on anyone. I can only hope yours isn't as bad as mine is, but I suspect it's horrible. What a miserable thing it is to go through this! And there's nothing to be done for it but to bear it and try to get through it.

I'm sleeping a lot, and in between I'm reading a Jane Austen novel, Mansfield Park. ANYTHING to take my mind off things.

Just took my dog off for a walk, and it's so hot and humid already. But at least it was a bit of exercise.

This afternoon, I'll plan on doing volunteer work at the hospice house office. And this evening, I'll make myself go to an in-service at the hospice house. I hope I can concentrate. I try so hard to concentrate and get my mind off myself and my miseries, but it's so difficult. I feel I've gotten totally self-centered. (Well, this whole note to you folks is no doubt utterly self-centered.)

Take care, and thank you, thank you, thank you for being there and for caring. I care about you folks, too.

Warmly and with hugs,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/20/2010 5:42 PM (GMT -7)   
Pebbles, I just got back from the in-service at the local hospice house (about helping our dying patients find peace--and about how to help ourselves, the living, find peace, ironically enough) and decided to check my email. Thank you for your very kind note on the board! It means so much to know that someone's pulling for me.

I haven't been doing nearly enough deep breathing. But when I think about it, I do. I've been trying some of the grounding exercises Tortoise wrote down.

I can't believe that a pdoc took you off Paxil cold turkey! That is so CRUEL and utterly unnecessary!

Thank you for telling me I'm doing a good job with this. I often wonder, as I stuff hydroxyzine/vistaril into myself to fight the horrible nausea and take clonazepam to fight the shakes and panic attacks. I only hope that this is the hardest part and that things will get easier.

I have an appointment to see my pdoc next Wednesday. Maybe by then I'll have started on Depakote and will be doing even a smidgen better. I hate all the complaining I'm doing. Where did my sense of humor go???????????????

But this has certainly given me more of an insight into the horrors of withdrawal than I ever wanted to have. I thought that withdrawal from Effexor was bad, but withdrawal from Lexapro seems even worse. I only hope I can use this knowledge some day to help others who are going through this particular misery.

Thanks again, Pebbles. Your words mean a lot to me.

Warmly,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/21/2010 1:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I think that what you write does indeed have meat, Pebbles. Thank you for the good thoughts. I indeed hope I can do this: get through the withdrawal, get on the Depakote, get help from it, make it through grad school. Thank you for your wonderful thoughts.

Hugs,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg


havana
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2010
Total Posts : 127
   Posted 7/23/2010 1:51 PM (GMT -7)   
STILL going through withdrawal, with shaking, fever, chills. Still feel lousy. The pdoc wants me to start on Depakote NOW, hoping that it will alleviate some of the nasty anxiety symptoms. His nurse suggested I have a friend stay with me this weekend, which I'm going to do (estranged spouse will be staying with me, and I'll be starting Depakote this evening). If I feel much worse, pdoc's nurse suggested I check into the psych ward. I don't want to do this if I don't absolutely have to, but the nonstop anxiety is driving me crazy. Wish me good luck.

And thanks so much for checking in on me.

Warmly yours,
Havana
Havana
bipolar II, panic/anxiety disorder, fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome 
current meds: Clonazepam, 0.5 mg prn; Topamax, 50 mg

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 02, 2016 1:19 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,731,737 posts in 300,955 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151128 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Diane82256.
293 Guest(s), 8 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Artist Mark, Tirzah, Mrs. Brady, Girlie, Hilander64, Mustard Seed, Myself 09, LanieG


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer