feeling better today.....

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 7/21/2010 8:57 AM (GMT -6)   
yesterday I was extremly depressed.... lethargic and didnt acomplish much .... started to feel better last night ... more energy ... and maybe this is TMI but I had the best sex last night that I have ever had in my LIFE  **** .  ( Sorry)  he he
So I have alot to do today ....
Get a job :  I also talked with BF about keeping kids here during the day ( AWESOME idea) bc it allows me to stay home with my babies and be here for them. also its darn good money ... But as of right now , since last night I have only had one inquiry  ( of course since I had this brilliant idea , I expected to be bombarded with emails about childcare, and am somewhat disapointed that I only have the one so far)
Im EXTREMLEY worried about this bc they are going to repo my car soon if I dont get a darn job ..... so thats driving me NUTS every second of every day.
I also quit school yesterday ..... which is typical of me when I get depressed.... but BF says that maybe I should just take the semester off for now.... so I agreed and the college let me do that with now penalty ... so thats great.
So now im in Gotta go go go  mode .... but my mind is flooded with so many different thoughts that I dont know where to begin....  I want to start a daycare.... and also listed ads for house / office cleaning .... would like to get a job ASAP as a waitress bc I need cash NOW , so I may go out and do that later....  I want to go out and get new furniture for the kids ... but I dont have any money so I am frantically searching craigslist for free stuff.... although I dont have a drop of gas in my car , and have no way to go pick it up ....  
I feel like im standing stil.. frozen and the world is spinning around me ....

red lightening
Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2009
Total Posts : 620
   Posted 7/21/2010 9:26 AM (GMT -6)   
Sometimes I have to slow it down and make a priority list.
Then do the next thing that is in front of me on the list.
Try not to over do it which I know is hard when we're feeling good...

I'm looking for a job too but I'm in an area that was hit very bad by
the economy and jobs are scarce. But I know if i keep trying I will
eventually get one...so will you.

I'm glad you're feeling better today...take care of yourself!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 7/21/2010 12:33 PM (GMT -6)   

Belle I am very worried about you!  Especially with trying to take caffiene to prolong/increase your mania.  I know it feels good NOW - but didn't you *just* almost loose everything you care about because of your last mania?

Using caffiene will also increase the crash into depression when this ends.  I hope that you are successful today looking for a job.  I hope that your caffiene use and your next mood swing doesn't cause you to lose what you may gain today.

You CAN learn to use the hypomania/mania to your advantage, but you need to fight against some of these impulses.  There are people here - like Happy Bill - that succeed in this.  If you are ready to make this change, please come to us and ask for help to do it.

And please call your pdoc.  I don't know what meds you are on, but it's probably safe to say it's NOT working.

Good luck - stay safe!

Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 7/21/2010 1:38 PM (GMT -6)   
You CAN learn to use the hypomania/mania to your advantage, but you need to fight against some of these impulses.

I would LOVE to be able to do this... without being reckless....

If I could channel my energy into doing something productive, there would be no limits to the things I could accomplish!

Regular Member

Date Joined May 2010
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 7/21/2010 2:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much! ill go out and get some now...
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