If you're a Ludacris fan, the topic title rings a bell. I thought it was appropriate.
Anywho, this is Eric and I was on this board back in March. It was helpful and insightful, but then some of the negativity and sorrow just fueled my depression, so I had to step away. By the way, I'm 31, work in radio and diagnosed BP2...but darn the thing progressed really fast in the spring time.
I came back because I wanted to share my past few months with you guys.
After I got away from here and started working with a new psychologist, I actually got worse. My depression was more frequent and mania became more infrequent. I didn't even have interests in finding interests, work bored me, sex drive was shot. Things were hopeless as they get for someone who's usually in constant control as someone can be with what we/I have. The doc was a nice woman to work with, but the education I got from her, of my disorder actually wound up paralyzing me mentally. The scary S word creeped into my life. Things got worse and worse and S word thoughts intensified day by day.
Instead of ruining/ending my life, I finally decided to try the meds again do anything necessary to make them stick and work their magic. That sent me back to the psychiatrist who hooked me up on lamictal and abilify, which turned out to be god sends. I regained clarity in my life, my depressive episodes weren't as frequent and the S word vanished from my thinking.
Part of the reason I came back to the board is because I've been having some headaches and vision probs from the drugs, and my doc told me to scale back to see if that reduced the side effects. It has, somewhat, but it's also reduced the effectiveness of the drugs, so I'm a bit down and wanted to "be around" others like myself. So here I am again, yet will stick it out with you guys rather than running like the last time even once I'm able to ramp back up to ample doses of the drugs. And of course I get to read about Bill's antics. The guy is a true positive inspiration!
Bipolar II (diag. 2005)
On my 7th psychologist. *I've moved alot*
Thousands of pages read on my disorder
Looking for people like me
"Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're right"