New too these forums but absolutely not to this illness.

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

ManDown
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/28/2010 4:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
Im a 37 year old Husband of a newly diagnosed long time BP sufferer. We have been married for 16 years together for 18. We have 4 beautiful children.
My wife has gone from early in our relationship having been diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorders, a few years later after our last child was born 2002 too being diagnosed with depression, and currently with BP disorder. I would like to extend my sympathies to anyone who has this illness or is the significant other of one who suffers from it.
She is the love of my life, and doesnt care.

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/28/2010 5:04 PM (GMT -7)   
First of all, welcome. I'm sorry for your suffering, but hopefully things will start to turn around now that she has been diagnosed. Is she currently on any medications or seeing a pdoc?
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder


ManDown
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/28/2010 5:57 PM (GMT -7)   
She is seeing a professional for her first visit tomorrow actually.
currently on 2mg Klonopin per day also Lexapro as a PRN not sure the dose. Maybe unrelated she also takes VitaminB shots bi-weekly.
She sleeps alot lately, but has always been a Napper. I hope the turn around is visible, Ive worn myself thin keeping her negative moods out of kicking distance.
BTW love the BMarley reference in your sig.

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 7/28/2010 9:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Well, if she's been on the meds for a few weeks and things are still the same, you two might talk about getting her medications changed. I went through a few medication changes before landing on one that helped instead of hurt. I know it's hard to be positive when she is so negative and I know it can take a big toll on you, just try a little longer to keep your head up. I tell my husband, everything happens for a reason and this too shall pass. My mother said it to me all the time growing up and although it bugged the crap out of me then, it is very true. Especially with BP, moods come and go all the time, we all just have to learn to go with the flow sometimes. I am sorry that things are so hard on the both of you though. Have you thought about maybe having her join a forum, so that she also has a place to maybe vent? Probably not the same one, but a forum...I know when I'm in a really bad place, sometimes just jotting down everything that is going on in my life and going through my messed up brain can really help.
PS~ Thanx. I loved him when I was a smokin teen, now I'm a sober adult and still love 'em.
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
PTSD


ManDown
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/29/2010 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   
As far as writing things down, she has actually started doing that. But it's writing down the things she forgets about not as therapy but more of a memory tool. Well joining forums and discussing her problems has never been an issue, the Issue begins when she connects with someone who "understands her problems" . Then she becomes overly involved and clings to them, and before long she wants a divorce again, and doesnt feel she is IN love with me.

She has been on both meds for about 2 years for depression, just recently increased the Klonopin 2 weeks ago.

As far as quotes from family, she has had little positive encouragement growing up. Her parents were Much older when they had her, they are depression children themselves. They were and are very hard no nonsense people. Her mother(still alive/living with us) I feel is BP herself and thinks her daughter is making excuses for herself. Tries to manipulate both of us on a regular basis.(her leaving isnt an option).

She is the " all I've done for you " type of woman.

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 7/29/2010 6:09 AM (GMT -7)   

 

   FIrst of all, welcome and thank you for the kind words. I have BP so i understand that side of the house very very well.

   It took me several med changes to find what worked best for me, and then a doseage change to finally sort it all out. This would all be so much easier if the doctor could just scan you with a device that could tell exactly what you needed and the amount u needed also. Well no use wishing for the impossible. LOL LOL

   Just hang in there and give it some time. Keep the negative at bay any way you can. She can come thru this storm, and it sounds like she has a great supporter in you. We should all be so lucky.

   Keep posting.  Bill 


 
   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
 
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
 
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.


ManDown
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/31/2010 7:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Well Yesterday was a day full of Dr. Apps and pharmacy squatting waiting for scripts to be filled. Long hours of reassuring her she was doing the right things.

Well her first Visit with her Psychiatrist went well, but he seemed to think she was misdiagnosed 16 years ago. And again misdiagnosed a couple weeks ago. Dont know if im still posting in the right forums but their isnt a forum on healing well for Severe Adult onset ADD. Although I cant see much of a difference between it and Rapid cycling BP.

He did prescribe Abilify 5mg as a start and of course a regular regimine of counseling. Of course she was asked to start tracking her moods and behaviors in writing.

The big thing that got me is when he asked if she ever remembered not feeling the way she does now? She replied " long before I met my husband ". What a smack in the face when he told her " you may realize you dont like or want anyone or anything your life has now "

What am I supposed to say about that?........

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 7/31/2010 8:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi ManDown,

Welcome to HW. I am sorry you are going through (and have been going through) such a hard time. Thank-you for your empathy, we don't take that lightly. It means a lot.

Getting the right diagnosis is definitely the first step. You can't really get the right treatment if you don't know what you're treating; so I know that frustration.

She definitely needs to keep a mood chart (search for them online). It's imperative that she is keeping track of how she is feeling. Writing and some talk therapy should really go a long way as well.

I know you are hurting through this. However, I can tell you that you are doing the right thing in being so supportive. Just remember to also look out for yourself.

You are both in my thoughts and I hope things start to settle soon.

Keep us updated,
Mogs
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed for panic attacks
---temporarily off Lamictal----
Seroquel 50mg/night

ManDown
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/31/2010 10:24 AM (GMT -7)   
TY Lindz Mogs and happy for your comments and encouragements.

I push back the fight or flight thoughts on a daily basis, with this new comment about not liking anything her life is surrounded by. It merely encourages me to strike out on my own, and rid myself and my children of becoming as she has. I continue to Love her to death and will support anything she "needs" but as stated above I need to worry about myself and children. I cannot help but concern myself with the what-ifs of the whole situation. If I leave with my children will I be abandoning her in her most desperate time? If I stay will she only realize she never wanted our family and continue to be cancerous to its growth.

Whichever ones of these I choose the one constant will always be, " she is the love of my life ".

afterthought: after taking her first dose of abilify she was restless all afternoon but finally seemed to calm down when she knew the new meds werent going to kill her. We talked awhile and she shared that she was concerned about the same question I was. What if she didnt want her life as is?

Im not sure what her thought process was after I went to bed alone, but she couldnt sleep. She came to bed a few hours later and we were intimate for the first time in 2 months. Again she couldnt sleep afterwards, she spent the rest of the night playing games online while I dosed off and on just conversing with her about nothing important. sleepless, but overall a good night.

ManDown
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/6/2010 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Its been a week now since she started the new meds.
She has not tried keeping her mood chart at all.
We havent spoken much, and the couple of times I asked her minor questions she has lost control and accuses me of badgering her about our relationship. Which she does NOT want to talk about.
She has already accused me of spying on her, because I looked at her cell phone 1 time.
( she is still talking to some guy she cheated with )
Obviously their has been no intimacy this week.
She has also claimed I think her Meds will fix her the way I want her overnight. Which I dont think they can "fix" her But they will help her to heal herself if she wishes too.
I may be about to lose control, im not quite sure.

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 8/6/2010 11:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Man. Abilify typically begins working right away, not like an anti-depressant that takes a month or more to start working.

I recommend the book "Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder." I think it helps sort out when it it time to support and when it is time to let go.

BTW. You never had control.
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
 
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."

ManDown
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2010
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 8/15/2010 5:16 AM (GMT -7)   
*update* its been another whole week.
She has kept on her med's and she's convinced they've fixed her....Eureka its a miracle !! Not quite.

She now claims she see's everything perfectly clear and realized she didn't want to be together for almost 10 years or so.
That would negate our 2 youngest children (which are leaving with me).

Her Mother decided to take a LONG vacation because she cant deal with her daughters lies and manipulation.
Of course this was my fault and she Has accused me of driving her mother out. She has since asked me to move, and I am.
(with the 2 aforementioned younger children) which she seems to be highly unable to tolerate.

She has walked out of her job at least twice this past week. I hope since her income is the only thing that will be paying the bills in this house (because I refuse to buy anything accept food) that she does not get fired. And since we are all on her insurance my kids need that from her but little else. They despise her, even at 8 and 9 years old they know mommy is not right. They know we're leaving and cannot wait until that day.almost 3 weeks....uggghhh. She will be here with our 12 yr old in a 5 bedroom house.......

She berates me in front of my older children's friends, trying to be the " cool hip type Mom " Yet being very inappropriate and allowing them to say, do, and see things they should not. Almost encouraging them to ruin their own lives.

She has gotten rid of Me, her 2 younger children, our oldest 17 wont come home, and her mother has left to her oldest daughters about 3 hours away. Possibly her job, but she is FIXED ! And I'm guessing this boy who is 15 years younger then her Makes it all OKAY !? I wonder how therapy will go this week for her.?

With all this said, why would she still refer to me as " My Love "--"Baby"--"hun"--or even--"Sweetheart".....?

Last but not least she says, we've always been better friends then lovers. Let's bring up the fact that I despise Liars and would never befriend one!
Once again the Love of my life has beat this ManDown, I love her forever for she is the love of my life. But that woman has been far to gone for much too long.

Sorry this is abit long, but my rant is over. My best wishes to any and all suffering from these disorders and my respect to those who can hold the pieces together. It obviously takes a stronger back then I have!
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, December 07, 2016 7:21 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,410 posts in 301,211 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151329 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, OleMiss1990.
394 Guest(s), 7 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Rikky1, Ravineman430, Sarebear89, Xmaslover, Charmed3, Suffering34, k07


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer