I hear you. I get off track of my meds on weekends and when I'm not at work....anytime I'm away from that routine it makes it difficult.
Just breathe; really...take some deep breaths, in and out slow and deep, in and out slow and deep....
You know what you're up against. You know what brought this on, so now you just have to take things one step at a time to get back on track and you can do it. Hold off on making decisions about bf until you are back on routine meds and you're feeling better....
Do you have anixety medication? I have clonazepam to take for panic/anxiety attacks. I notice I use more of it when I'm off track.
Hang in there, we are here for you. I'll check in on ya tomorrow.
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed for panic attacks
---temporarily off Lamictal----