You know i understand where you are and have been. I to seem to fall into the same trap again and again and again. What is the definition of insanity? DOing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome.
Honestly i have started to look at ways to break this cycle in myself, finding happiness in things that are not subject to change. Such as my dog, or dogs and cats in general. They are allways happy to see you, allways as open as they can be, and make no secret of the fact of how much they care about you.
People? People constantly amaze me again and again. Often times they tend to follow the normal script and tend to be petty, silly, and childish. Makes me want to go live in a cabin in the woods sometimes.
Maybe its my BP that keeps me from forming strong social bonds. I dont know. I just dont seem to be interested in the petty, silliness and backbiting most people call relationships.
But in the end, if you can at least put your finger on what you think the problem is, then you are further along than most people.