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LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/15/2010 6:28 PM (GMT -7)   
I have a appointment tomorrow with my psychologist and on Thursday with my psychiatrist, which is a good thing. I haven't been able to eat much or go to sleep before 3 am for the past 4 days. I went on a shopping spree today, which was stupid because we can't afford it. So, tomorrow I have to go return everything, which I HATE doing. This headache just won't go away. I got a speeding ticket the other day, which pisses me off and has my husband upset. So, that's more money down the drain that could have been avoided. All this makes me think I'm manic right now...but, if I'm manic, then why am I having thoughts of not wanting to be here every day?
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
PTSD

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 8/15/2010 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Dysphoric mania? Google it and see if it describes your experience.
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
 
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/15/2010 10:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I've had mixed episodes before, mainly after having my son. This just feels different though.
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
PTSD

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 8/16/2010 5:19 AM (GMT -7)   

 

  I think that manias come in all different shapes and sizes. I can say i have had ones where i never thought about sex, and only created for all hours of the night untill i finally fell asleep exhausted. Then there are the ones where i have risky behaviors, and others where it is all about sex. Then there are the combo meal varietys. Depression mixed with energy, hopelessness mixed with eurpohic feelings. Rapid cycling, JOY JOY JOY. So many interesting and fun ways to be crazy. LOL LOL LOL

     It would be nice if each and every mania was exactly the same, that way we could plan for and around them. But no, they have to be different and crazy. Sigh. Such is life.

 

  Bill

 

 

 


 
   "If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"
 
   "It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself."  Happy Bill
 
   Meds. Respirdal  0.5 a day, more if needed.

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/16/2010 12:05 PM (GMT -7)   
So sad, but also so true Bill! I went to see my doctor this morning and she thinks I need to be admitted, for mine and the children's sake. She said I'm going through dysphoric mania and the lack of sleeping and eating are making things worse. I told her I can't do that because I have no one here who would be able to take care of my son. My husband COULD be flown home off the ship, but I really don't want to go that route. I'm not going to tell him what the doctor said because I don't want him to worry. He always worries when I'm here alone, but I always get things done and the kids are never in danger. I'm going to see my pdoc on Thursday, so I'm hoping to get some things rolling with meds then.
It's another weird day. Woke up depressed then became manic feeling about an hr ago, but still having those stupid thoughts....WOO-HOO! Fun times!
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
PTSD

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 8/16/2010 12:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Awww. Sorry to hear that!

I'm sure if you were put in touch with a social worked, they could arrange respite care for your little man. I know it is less than ideal, but don't use him for an excuse for not taking care of you and the little one on the way!

Dark therapy is powerful stuff. Pick a bedtime. And no matter how awake you are, go into a totally dark room and force yourself to stay there for 12 hours. I HATE it, but I always (eventually) fall asleep and feel better in the morning.

Best of luck! Stay safe and well!
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
 
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/17/2010 1:54 AM (GMT -7)   
My OB set me up with a social worker, but I really don't want to go into the hospital. The only time I've gone to the hospital is when I went in for rehab and also had counseling for my bipolar and when I was forced into one by my parents. That stay scared the hell out of me. I saw the other people there and really felt like I didn't belong; they had some SERIOUS problems! I feel like if I could just get some sleep, things would start to turn around. I've been laying in bed since 7:30, it's now 2 AM and I'm still awake. I just keep taussing and turning. I took some pm stuff, but I don't want to take too much, so I've decided against taking any more. I tried drinking warm milk, I even tried putting on some Enya to ty and relax me, but to no avail. I just want this all to go away and have a normal pregnancy and life. So many people say normal is soooo boring, but I've give just about anything to have it right about now. Thinking I'm going to take a hot bath and see if that helps. If you have any more sleeping tips, I would greatly appreciate it.
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
PTSD

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/18/2010 10:00 AM (GMT -7)   
I've cut out as much caffeine as possible. I still drink about two sodas a day, that's my largest weakness....Juice, fruits, and chicken are my main stables, also pasta. I've tried cutting out the pasta, but I've having HUGE cravings for it, so it's been extremely difficult. I have another appt with my OB in two weeks, so I'll ask her then what I can take, if things get better. If not, I'll call the nurse hotline and see what I can take that's over the counter.

I had three hrs of sleep last night and four the night before. Last night I couldn't even lay in bed. I cleaned the bathrooms and living room carpet, swept, moped, etc.....Headache isn't going away and I wish I could take the baby somewhere and just get away for w while....he's teething and the winning is driving me nuts...
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
PTSD

Mildlybipolar
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 8/18/2010 11:11 AM (GMT -7)   
Lindz, check this site out http://www.centerpointe.com/

It's helped me IMMENSELY, cuz I can't ever relax either. I swear this isn't some informercial! It's essentially forced meditation.

If you've ever used 4shared.com just search centerpointe and you'll find some of the files to download. it's 30 min long and you need headphones as it's slows your brain waves by listening to the sounds. if you're hesitant to DL, I can yousendit the links to you.

Good luck in relaxing!
Bipolar II (diag. 2005)
On my 7th psychologist. *I've moved alot*
Thousands of pages read on my disorder
Looking for people like me
"Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're right"
Lamictal and Abilify are my friends
 

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 8/18/2010 11:15 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm gonna be the bad guy. You HAVE to cut out the caffiene totally. I'll ultraradian cycle with a big fat dysphoric mania if I have over 20 mg of caffiene. Depending on your soda, you're probably getting about 140 mg!

Eat the pasta, skip the juice. :)
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder
 
"It's never too late to become what you might have been."

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 8/19/2010 7:34 AM (GMT -7)   
lindz,
As someone who does not sleep well either right now, sometimes I have found that audiobooks seem to help me a little bit (kinda that tell me a story thing), but I have to use CD's. Still in so not much help today.
TC,
Navy
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 8/19/2010 11:47 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey lindz,
 
I am where you are at basically. All over the place with mood and not getting sleep.
 
The absolute biggest key to this whole illness in my opinion is routine and sleep. 8-9 hours of sleep each night to be exact. I'm not strong enough to be exact on my diet, but I do try my best.
 
I hope you can get some sleep. It really goes a long way.
 
There was a post awhile back from me and you were kind in your support of my Mom going through stage IV cancer; didn't get around to replying, so thank you.
 
Hugs,
Mogs
 
 
Mogs
 
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed for panic attacks
---temporarily off Lamictal----
Seroquel 50mg/night

LindzKaye09
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 174
   Posted 8/20/2010 7:03 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you everyone for your replies. I've had caffeine cut out for the past three 1/2 days. I having a hard time not drinking any caffeine what so ever. I will go and check out those web sites and things. Thank you all again.
Mogs~ No problem, that's what we're here for. How is your mom doing this week, any better?
I know I'm not perfect, and I don't live to be...But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean. - Bob Marley

Bipolar I
OCD
Anxiety Disorder
PTSD
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