I finally am at my boyfriend's house, first time seeing him in two months. I got here last night at midnight, woke up this morning next to him, we watched a movie in bed all morning and then walked to a nearby diner and he bought me breakfast. we've been together all day and i have not once felt a dip in my mood. i've just been so happy all day. not manic happy, but genuinely in a good upbeat happy mood. the only thing is that this morning i took xanax. I took it yesterday for the car ride and i took it again today. i think the reason i have most of my mood swings is because i have severe stress and anxiety and i think that if you take the anxiety away i feel PERFECT. my friend gave me 4 of her xanax and i have two left..
i'm going to my psychiatrist on the 30th. i don't want to come right out and say 'please please please prescribe me a low dose of xanax!!!' but i really think that on bad days i would benefit a lot from having xanax around. i don't feel high or loopy, i just feel like i'm missing my normal anxiety and as a result i feel really good. what can i do? obviously if i come right out and ask my pdoc for a certain prescription he's going to take it the wrong way like i am some dishonest person but i don't know what else to do. today was perfect. i know to an extent it was just seeing my boyfriend but even on days where i'm really happy, i still feel really nervous and i have at least one mood swing. i'm stuck!!
"crazy" french girl with bipolar II