Hi Red Lightening,
You are right, depression does skew perception. It makes everything look so bleak and things that are right in front of you, well, you don't even notice them.
I am so happy that your son is with you and not his father. It is going to take a little time to get his grades back up there, but that gives him something to strive for. Let him know that this is an achievable challenge.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. And I wish that you would talk to the doctor about going back on abilify. I take it and it really does help me a lot. Though I am not saying it is the right drug for you, it may not be. Did you stop it because of losing weight? I don't really think it is suppose to cause weight loss. I could be wrong though. I just know that it works well for me, it may take a little while for it to start working for you, but it could help. So please talk to your doctor about it.
Keep trying. Keep focussed. Your older son will understand in time that you couldn't make the graduation. And he will forgive you. He is just disappointed right now. Believe me, he will get over it in time.
Please continue to post. This is a wonderful forum and I feel so fortunate to be a part of it.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies