my bipolar husband

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angied33
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/4/2010 3:08 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello all, I am new to the forum.  I am seeking help in learning how to deal w/ my bp husband.  I have only known him since May of last year and we got married in March of this year.  There were many red flags that I ignored before we got married and sadly enough I am in great regret of that now.  I should never have married this man.  When we met he was VERY attentive, sweet, loving, doting, would buy me anything, would do anything in the world for me.  Now I know why.  He gives what he wants in return.  He is very needy. He needs me to kiss, hug, cuddle, touch, caress, talk sweet to him, CONSTANTLY.  He has to have that in order to feel loved.  He reaches out to many other women for self satisfaction to boost his ego so he says.  He claims that because he is bipolar he needs the to feel masculine and talking to other women sexually makes him feel masculine.  He swears he would  never physically cheat on me but how do I know that?  He has confessed that he is jealous of my son that I have from a previous relationship. My son is 13 and we are close.  My husband says we are too close and that I let my son hug me, kiss me, and we wrestle all the time but yet I act like I dont want to touch him. Well, when I find nude pix of other females on your computer and find text messages of a sexual nature in your phone then no I do not want you to touch me.  I do not trust him and I am at the point where I hate being around him because he is always accusing me of cheating.  He told me that he thinks I am plotting w/ my man to have him killed so I can be with my new man.  I cant deal with it.  I found this morning where he has started a journal for the past few days and yesterdays entry says that he is going to gather the stuff together to kill himself.  Take some pills and fill his lungs w/ helium.  I do not know what to do. I am almost afraid for the safety of my child and myself in this house. I am afraid to sleep at night.

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/4/2010 5:38 AM (GMT -7)   
First to take care of the legal issues, you have stated fears for your, his, and your child's safety I think the way is pretty clear cut.  
He needs to go to the ER for eval. 
Second, you and your child need to get to a safe place. 
 
 
______________________________________________
This is for later:
 
For Family and Friends of Bipolars

Living with someone who suffers from bipolar disorder presents a set of problems all its own. Here are some resources which might be useful for you.

The following books:

Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder by Julie A. Fast and John D. Preston
When Someone You Love Is Bipolar by Cynthia G. Last

The following websites:

Help For Surviving Your Spouse's Mental Illness

Bipolar Significant Others

The Bipolar Spouse

There is also a forum for significant others in NAMI's Online Communities

And one for family and friends at Pendulum.org

And the Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group at Daily Strength.

The Links are at the bottom of the bipolar resources page.
http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=350839
 
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 9/4/2010 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
What he says - except get yourself and your son safe FIRST. Then see what you can do about having a 3rd party committed. If you take the journal and show it to the police, they will have him taken to the hospital involuntarily where he can get treatment and become stable again.

What you decide to do after that is entirely a different matter.

Safety first!!
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Depakote, Abilify - FAIL; Seroquel - Epic Fail
Lamictal 200mg, Klonopin 0.5mg as needed, starting Seroquel XR 50mg soon

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/4/2010 7:31 AM (GMT -7)   
tortise is quite correct get safe first
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Not2L8
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2010
Total Posts : 255
   Posted 9/5/2010 9:12 AM (GMT -7)   
I know you don't know me..but you are in my thoughts. Be strong for you are not alone, be safe and follow your instincts.
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.


Bipolar Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
PTSD



meds: Seroquel

angied33
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 9/6/2010 7:57 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank everyone for their comments/advice. Friday afternoon my husband entered into his journal that he had decided in the next week or so to gather the materials to kill himself. I had to motivate him to get up Saturday and go to work. He says he wasnt going back bc I dont like his job. (He resigned his job and has started trainging for a new job that i have many concerns about) He said he would just find another job. So yet again his actions he was able to blame on me.
burdenedown

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/6/2010 9:30 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok I think you need to take care of you and your children first, and also get the professionals involved.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

lifewithdje
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2010
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 12/10/2010 3:55 PM (GMT -7)   
Angie your story sounds like the beginning of mine - the dating and then into when the marriage problems started with the physical affection challenges. This thread is now months old but I hope that things worked out for you.

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 12/10/2010 5:18 PM (GMT -7)   
 
  Yea, im your husbands side of the story. All the same stuff you see i had runningn thru me at one time.  Medication and therpay helped me GREATLY, but that took over 2 years. In the end i had a moment of clarity that allowed me to see that i was the problem. It allowed me the chance to get on meds which helped alot to see what was happening for the first time. 
 
  But you need to protect yourself and your child first, if he is depressed or manic he could do anything. You need to get out now if you can. And he needs to find help and stick with it.
 
  Good luck Bill  
"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"



"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill



Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.
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