Whew!!....(almost)

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mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 9/6/2010 11:01 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey gang,

I was going to post a thread saying I was going to take a break from the board for awhile, but I think I may be out of the woods for now.

So here is what happened since last Thursday.

Mom was admitted to the hospital because her WBC count was really low so they had in her isolation for 5 days. She checked herself out of the hospital yesterday even though she should still be in hospital. So now (after her blood count went down another .6 ) she is at high risk of infection and is at home. I am really worried that she left the hospital.

Thursday night, our landlord came in and told us he was giving us 60 days notice to leave our house that we rent because his engagement broke up and he needs to move back in. It was a complete shock and we were both devastated. We need to rent just one or two more years to save and buy a house, so we were planning on staying esp. since this house has a huge yard for our dog. But now with this kind of notice we are going to have to move into a condo (as this city doesn`t really have any houses for rent under $1200.) The amount of stress hit a new high that day and the days to follow. I was already having probelms with bf and the thought of signing another year lease with him at this point was hard to cope with. I didn`t know what to do.

Then the next night our lab got sprayed by a skunk. We had to spend HOURS bathing him in tomato juice, and using other remedies to get rid of the smell. It`s all gone except for the very top of his head still smells a little bit. But that day we were outside in cloudy, cool yucky weather dealing with that and the fact that we are having to uproot our lives that are already filled with such toxic chronic stress.

I was at the end of my rope when I already thought I was there days before. Suicidal thoughts came flooding in and I thought it was hospital time. At the end of the skunk cleaning day, I went to bed and I prayed to God pleading for a break. Praying that nothing else would be thrown at us, bc I couldn`t handle it. I was terrified. The next day, bf and I had a very emotional honest and open conversation to lay out what we were going to do about US. We finally worked things out! At least I hope so :) We decided 5 years together was so much to be greatful for and to cherish and want to protect and heal. We are going to focus on making ourselves and each other happy. we`ve come a long way since I had a talk about his anger a few weeks ago. The screaming at me has stopped and he really did get it how awful that was. Now we just have to work on the rest.

I felt like a huge weight was lifted from me yesterday when we `made up`` . I hate that we have to leave our house, but I am going to try and accept it and make the best of it.

Anyway, enough, this was too long. Much love to you all and I`ll be back a bit later today.

Mogs
Mogs

Bipolar II
Anxiety Disorder/Panic Attacks

Meds-Lamictal 300 mg, Seroquel XR 100 mg, Clonazepam .5mg as needed

happy bill
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1132
   Posted 9/7/2010 6:22 AM (GMT -7)   

 

   Good luck MOgs, its often said God doesnt give us more than we can handle, however there are days it certainly feels like he/she does. 

   I'm glad you and your BF had some honest communication, now my advice is to concentrate on healing. Stay away from anthing that can and will aggravate hurt feelings. They need time to heal, to be come strong again so they can handle the load. Hopefully your lanlord is helping you out somehow financially for having  you move out in 60 days. If not ask if you can use your security deposit for the last months rent so you can have money to move on. 60 days isnt a ton of time, for most of us its only 4 paychecks.

   And what i allways say is enjoy what you have, and enjoy it alot.  wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink wink    There is great healing power in  making, well you know, tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue tongue . LOL LOL LOL But really you have enough on your plate for now, you need to heal, and to gatehr up your strengh for the move and your moms illness.

   Good luck, and you know where we are when you want or need to talk.

  Bill

 

 


"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"



"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill



Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 9/7/2010 10:11 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi Bill,

Thanks (Hugs). Bf and I are doing a lot better and I am so glad. I of course have fears that it won't last, but as long as we stick to what we've promised each other and remember we love each other and that we need to focus on that....we should be able to get back to being a great couple. I am so glad that I am haven't been yelled and screamed at for a few weeks. That has made a difference. Somehow I need to cope with my illness better even though I feel I keep it away from him as it is now...there are those days where it can get overwhelming and frustrating for him as well. And when that happens, it just doesn't help either one of us. I explained to him the hugs and reassurance on my bad days would go a long long way in making me feel better so that we end up having a better day. I'm not making it his responsibility, he asked what he could do and so I just wanted to let him know about something small (yet powerful).

We looked at a condo (frown) last night. It was small, but it's 5 minutes from where we are now and from the park we love. We are however looking at another one tonight and it has a garage, so I think it would be better.  I honestly just want to find a place and seal the deal so I can destress for 5 minutes!!

I hope you are well! It's so hard to manage life with bp, but as you say, all we can really do for ourselves is accept it and do the best we can for ourselves.

Talk to you soon,

Mogs


Mogs

Bipolar II
Anxiety Disorder/Panic Attacks

Meds-Lamictal 300 mg, Seroquel XR 100 mg, Clonazepam .5mg as needed

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 9/7/2010 10:32 AM (GMT -7)   
I hope your housing situation is resolved quickly! Congrats on moving forward with your bf.

I think you should put your agreement in writing and review it every 3 - 6 months until you both feel stable.
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Depakote, Abilify - FAIL; Seroquel - Epic Fail
Lamictal 200mg, Klonopin 0.5mg as needed, starting Seroquel XR 50mg soon

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 9/10/2010 12:38 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey gang,

So today we got some good news :) We got the condo/townhouse that's 5 minutes away from our house. So I am happy about it. Now though, our landlord is being a jerk about things...long story.

I literally got off the phone with the new owners of our new place and then called our current owner and it went from me smiling to me having a panic attack.

Anyway, at least we have a place to go to and that really does take some stress off.

I'll be on the board this weekend.

Hugs,

Mogs


Mogs

Bipolar II
Anxiety Disorder/Panic Attacks

Meds-Lamictal 300 mg, Seroquel XR 100 mg, Clonazepam .5mg as needed

Carenpolar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 672
   Posted 9/10/2010 1:43 PM (GMT -7)   
Mogli. so glad to hear that you got the condo......
 
hugs, Caren 

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 9/10/2010 2:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Yay! Why is your current landlord being a jerk when he is terminating / not renewing your lease?!

Whatevs.

I'm glad that you have a place to go!

How is your relationship?
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Depakote, Abilify - FAIL; Seroquel - Epic Fail
Lamictal 200mg, Klonopin 0.5mg as needed, starting Seroquel XR 50mg soon
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