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Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/13/2010 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi! Have enjoyed reading everyone's posts. I am Bipolar II Cymbalta 120 mg, Wellbutrin 300 mg.

Can someone pls explain Mixed episodes and Rapid Cycling?
What kind of therapist do you have? Is a psychologist the best? Has anyone done DBT?

Am stuck now for 9 mos. Last fall had many one disappointment after another. Had an Outpt surgery in Dec. very uncomfortable (trigger?Jan. my daughter miscarried, would have been 1st grandchild. (trigger?)
Took to my bed in Jan., and slept day and night for about 2 wks. except to eat, drink, smoke.
Then didn't necessarily sleep, but spaced out all day and night, some sleep, in bed all day
Don't want to do anything, including personal hygiene.
Husband has taken care of all household duties, feel a little guilty.
I'm sick of everything I used to do. NO sewing, crocheting, reading, cooking, baking, shopping, silk flowers, or gifts. They frustrate me and are definitely triggers.
I'm 60 now, and have decided to STOP taking classes regarding employment. I have no references, experience, and have had many short-lived jobs. People involved really get on my nerves. And few jobs in So Cal, why would they hire an old person?
For years now, have cut off family, except for son 33, and daughter 29, son is out of state but emails and calls, daughter lives 1 hr away, see for birthdays etc. She knows my dx. & wanted me to be hospitalized in Feb. Talked her out of it. Daughter and husband are support system.
And with all this I AM NOT DEPRESSED IN A SAD WAY ? ?
I JUST DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING ALTHOUGH I HAVE LATELY BEEN RESEARCHING AND READING about BIPOLAR. The reading says exercise (no way, I'd have to get dressed, and have to talk to neighbors), get out once a week and see a movie or something alone, ehhh, contact 2 loved ones every week (easy on phone & email, and hubby is here) Quit my pdoc, he was not helping and it had been 2 yrs. and mood stabilizers did nothing anyway. GP is refilling ad's. Have never had any progress with therapy, just seems like chit chat, LSW's. It's been 40 yrs now. 1st dx. in 70's schizophrenia, then major depression, pills didn't work (ad's) so they said I must be Bipolar II or Mixed. Very impulsive and make drastic decisions.
SO - WHAT THE HELL AM I? no mania, OK, maybe hypomania, and def hypersexuality (at 60, Hubby finds me fat, and fat is repulsive. Gaining wt. but hardly eat, but binge)

Would appreciate any advice you can give me. Sorry to be so wordy, wanted to state my case in full. Know you are all very experienced. Thanks everyone !

Carenpolar
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 672
   Posted 9/13/2010 12:22 PM (GMT -7)   
Well thanks for telling  your story. and welcome to the board...we chat on thursday and sunday.
hugs, Caren

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/13/2010 12:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Do you feel like going in for a real evaluation with a psychiatrist might be beneficial to you?
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Yes, been to quite a few. Maybe if I didn't tell them what the previous docs said then start from scratch ?
Thanks for your suggestion

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:24 PM (GMT -7)   
I am just wondering how recent it has been? It might be something to think about given your issue about losing interest in things that use to give you joy? Or it could be an additional dx? I do not know, but I think it is always good to have a second opinion.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
I last saw him 2 mos ago. Told him I am perfectly content with what I am doing. He said it was not for him to judge that. Didn't want to see therapist again because she was not any help in the past. I've been to so many "first" interviews, it gets old. I can see that's what I will end up doing.
Thanks for your idea.

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:43 PM (GMT -7)   
I am sorry I guess I misunderstood. When you said you were content, I thought that you meant disengaged? Maybe I am wrong?  Could fresh eye's hurt?  Especially since you said that it started 9 months ago?  I wonder if your surgery triggered something, beyond your bipolar?  I really do not know, but I am just thinking (well typing) out loud, tossing suggestions before you.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Post Edited (MMMNAVY) : 9/13/2010 2:48:17 PM (GMT-6)


Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:48 PM (GMT -7)   
By content, I mean not upset by doing nothing but laying around.
What is disengaged?
Fresh eyes would help. Guess I have lost faith in Professionals

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:56 PM (GMT -7)   
there is something to being engaged in life, even if to preform just the basic functions of life, but more importantly finding what makes life enjoyable?
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/13/2010 1:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Hmmm, thanks for the insight. I am disengaged.

MMMNAVY
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 6927
   Posted 9/13/2010 3:50 PM (GMT -7)   
But I am wondering if you really are content, or are you just trying to aviod the pain of engagement? Because when you do not feel well that engaging in life can be difficult.
Forum Co-moderator - Crohn's Disease/Thyroid Disorders: All comments have the caveat contact your local health care provider.
I will find a way or make one. –Phillip Sidney 1554-1586
All that I am and all that I shall ever be, I owe to my Angel Mother.
The Bucket List- Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?
Make sure your suffering has meaning…

Trying to Understand
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2010
Total Posts : 776
   Posted 9/13/2010 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm very content since accepting that I don't have to struggle, trying to succeed in school, earn a paycheck, create gifts to impress my family, cook and bake (since my husband is on a very restricted diet) and clean and scrub like I used to. These things are just not necessary anymore, and never were. Those things were so frustrating and were all along. I had grandiose ideas of what to accomplish, and am more realistic now. I think hypomania caused me to dream up all kinds of exotic plans that cost me. I've done some impulsive but gutsy things that were really exciting. Can't think of anything else to do now, I'm heavy, my knees and hips are shot, don't have the energy or the money to blow. Engagement was always difficult for me. I figure its time to let the fantasies go. That does sound pretty depressing, but I don't feel sad. Thanks for your food for thought.
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