Bipolar and Friendships

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curlyjenn831
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 3/5/2011 7:07 AM (GMT -6)   
I'm curious how everyone else deals with finding/keeping friends. 
 
I'm 24 and have never had many friends, I'm more of a 'few close friends' type.  I find it extremely hard to make new friends and even keep the ones I have because they just can't seem to understand. Some of them I don't even bother to tell, at least not yet. I frequently end up canceling plans with people because I am either depressed, can't find anything to wear (which ends up with me angry and ready to just go to bed), or am just in a bad mood and know that I won't be fun to hang out with anyway.
 
Friendless in Texas,
 
Jenn
Visit the blog of A Mental Mind

Diagnosed with Depression at age 15
Diagnosed with HPV at age 17
Diagnosed with Bipolar at age 20
Diagnosed with Chronic Neck Pain at age 21
Diagnosed with HSV at age 23

"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning." - Good ol' Charlie Sheen

happy bill
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Date Joined Nov 2008
Total Posts : 1131
   Posted 3/5/2011 10:18 AM (GMT -6)   

 

  Yes, i'm with you with the few but close group. It seems to be our lot in life to live  a more solitary existence.

  But there are good people out there who will be your friends, i have found one recently, and i was completely up front with her about my condition. I have been up front with everyone, and yes, it has cost me some relationships. But those that have stayed have become very hard core friends.

  And other avenue is pets. My dog thor is one of my best friends. He enjoys hikes, burger king, and most important of all, he is stable in his love for me. Its very important for me to have that kinda stability in my life. Yes he is a dog, but a dog can be so much more than a dog if we let them help us. In a world that seems to be filled with confusion and change, my puppy is a island of happiness, fun and stability.

  But dont give up, i have found a few "text" friends who i am very close to. We dont see each other often and talk every now and again, but are very close on text. And let me tell you, having those texts come in during the day really lighten my life and give me alot of hope and happiness. What i like to do is as i travel the day, take pictures of unusual things i see on my hikes, puppy pictures, weird pictures, and send them out with funny captions. This keeps people interested and makes for alot of fun texts. It isnt all BP, BP, BP, all the time. But last week when i had a bad day with a mania, two of my text friends offered to come sit with me. That really made me feel good.

  Plus you have us here.

Bill

  

 


"If Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade"



"It isn't my fault that i am BiPolar, It is my responsibility how i treat it so that i don't hurt others or myself." Happy Bill



Meds. Respirdal 0.5 a day, more if needed.

curlyjenn831
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 59
   Posted 3/7/2011 10:00 PM (GMT -6)   
You are lucky to have found friends that are understanding. My (ex) best friend of four years told me at the end of our friendship that she didn't even believe I was bipolar, she said I just used it as an excuse for all of the stupid things I had done in the past (during my mania).

So tired of all of this...
Visit the blog of A Mental Mind

Diagnosed with Depression at age 15
Diagnosed with HPV at age 17
Diagnosed with Bipolar at age 20
Diagnosed with Chronic Neck Pain at age 21
Diagnosed with HSV at age 23

"I'm not bi-polar, I'm bi-winning." - Good ol' Charlie Sheen

tortoise11
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2010
Total Posts : 2896
   Posted 3/7/2011 10:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Hang in there Jenn. My very, very few friends are the ones that love me in spite of this disease. At some point I did have to talk to them. There was a bad time last year where I cancelled on a friend FOURTEEN times in a row. I felt so bad, she was just sad and missed me. Another friend will tell me that she is going (where we are meeting) and won't leave until I get there.

Good luck finding friends worth keeping. (((hugs)))
Bipolar 1
Borderline Personality Disorder
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Panic Disorder

Depakote, Abilify - Fail; Seroquel - Epic Fail

Lamictal 250mg, Seroquel XR 400mg, Lithium 900mg, Klonopin 0.5mg - 2.0 mg as needed, Loratidine 10 mg

anijators
New Member


Date Joined Mar 2011
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 3/12/2011 10:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a lot of friends - wonderful, supportive ones.

The problem is as you've said - they don't understand.

Many times I'll sit on my computer on facebook or stare at my phone contacts list wishing I had somebody that I could message or text or call that would just freaking get it.

The best they can do is express sympathy, and tell me that it'll get better. And I appreciate that, but it doesn't help.

I've shut myself off from most of my friends for over a year. I haven't answered phone calls or bothered to call anyone unless the guilt became overwhelming to have actually ignored them so badly. Some of them really need me to be there for them, and I haven't been able to be since last October (marking the beginning of my worst struggle and subsequent diagnosis); prior to then, I just wouldn't be because it felt like too much of an effort. Calling someone; I didn't know if they'd talk for 20 minutes or 2 hours and I just didn't want to talk long. I wanted to say, "Hi, I'm there for you" and have it be left at that . . . but I'm not really there if I just don't care anymore, am I?

I do care. I just can't do anything for them. Those people with lives and futures and struggles afflicted by the world around them instead of their own heads. And so I just . . .

I don't know; I wrote it once, when I was just feeling it. "So many people trying to get in touch with me. I push them all away and then complain that I feel distant. Whose fault is this really? Mine but . . . I guess I don't mind still." I guess I feel like I'll mind when I realise what I've lost. And I don't. I don't know.

I'm not much good to my friends anymore. But they make me so happy when I can see them. How selfish . . .

I'm sorry to have gone on like that . . . the topic just hit me, really. I hope that you'll find people who don't push you away. I know that there are people like that out there because for some reason I still have friends and believe me, that doesn't say much about the kind of person I am, but the kind of people they are.
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