Thanks, Dana for your reply. You give good advice, that's what my counselor suggested. I was a nurse for 12 years and was extremely dedicated to the people and loved the clinical aspect maybe even more. I was awesome at my job, it was sort of an obsession. (I'm not trying to be conceited, please don't think that).
But the extreme stress of it caused me psychosis and landed me in the hospital one too many times and I finally had to take my pdoc's order to stop working five years ago. It took me a few years to adjust to the fact I didn't have a career anymore and just couldn't handle the stress. (Even on the meds, it causes major problems.) The last few years of working, I wanted to stop working so badly, becuase it was causing such misery, but I had put us in so much debt that if I stopped, our excellent credit would be gone. (We are now bankrupt) I was always ragy from management (everywhere I went, I always had a problem with authority) and couldn't handle commuting.
Anyway, back to the subject (I still do the rambling thing sometimes! LOL)! The very thought of having to be anywhere becuase people expect me to completely freaks me out. It's just like a job! (Referring to volunteering). How messed up is that? All I want to do is stay home with my 2 dogs, do housework, cook, do errands, work out and be with my husband when he gets home. I know it's not right, but it makes me happy and I don't have to deal with stress. Avoiding stress is part of my pdocs instruction, and I'm fine when I'm not stressed. I know it's probably unhealthy in other people's eyes, and I don't expect a solution, just wondered if anybody else feels this way.
Sorry I rambled.