first manic episode with new bf

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daydreamer21
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 4/11/2005 9:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder in november and i knew a long time before that that i wasn't right, but i finally got the courage and saw a psychologist who immediately recognized the proble, Well i am fine with teh idea of being bipolar but i just started a new relationship with a guy who i don't think has experienced the ups and downs a bipolar person has. He is wonderful when im depressed and almost instantly can cheer me up. but trying to explain to him what i feel like or what im goin through is like hell to me. I don't know what to tell him but he thinks there is a magic cure. So i finally had a manic episode with him and he didn't take it all that well. He was like wow don't be crazy right now just chill, and i flip out becuase i don't know what im doing. After all is well again i try to explain to him that i can't control the outburst and the impulsivity. Hes a great guy but how do i get him to understand that he can't always help me when i am like that and how do i get him to not walk out on me?? any suggestions would help.

keldew
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2005
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 4/12/2005 3:03 PM (GMT -7)   
I too have a boyfriend who has a difficult time when I'm manic.  He was with me when I was first diagnosed last February and it was very draining on it.  Your boyfriend sounds a lot like mine with the, "just chill," they don't understand that we just can't "chill out" no matter how much we may want to.
 
I bought my boyfriend a book, "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" and he's starting to read it, but it's hard for him to really get engrossed.  Guys just like to "fix" things, they don't really want to know "why" we feel the way we feel, they just want us "fixed."   Unfortunately it's just not that easy and it is very easy to get frustrated.
 
A lot of times my boyfriend will try to get me to focus and ask me questions like, "What caused you to start going manic?  How long have you been feeling like this?  What do you want me to do for you?"  I have Bipolar II so I'm more hypomanic where I feel a compulsion to clean or reorganize things. Sometimes the paranoia gets the best of me and all he can do is let me rant and rave until it's over, but it's hard.
 
I don't know how much I've helped you, but try to get your guy some info on your condition, that might be the best place to start.  Tell him what you need and don't need from him when a manic phase hits and just remember that it can be just as scary for the guy as it is for us, at least we know what to expect, our boyfriends don't.

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 4/12/2005 3:12 PM (GMT -7)   

First, why are you having such mood swings?  I know the answer:  You're bipolar!

Seriously, why?  Are you on meds?  If so, then they ain't the right ones!!!  Didn't your psychologist have a pdoc write meds for you?  Counseling certainly isn't going to really help the situation, with meds, fine, but not without!!!

There is really no way to have anybody understand mania; they can't possibly.  The best you can hope for is that they learn all they can about the illness, what to look for, and to be supportive.  It's really too much to ask if you aren't on meds, or if you don't keep a handle on the swings with your doc as often as you need to.  Don't ever let yourself get too far from stable without calling your doc.  If he/she makes you feel like you're a pain, change docs.  Good pdocs all know the nature of BP is constantly changing, especially in the springtime.  It's the worst time of the year as far as mood swings.  Nearly everyone needs frequent adjustments of their meds.  Don't be a burden on your loved ones by letting yourself swing and then expecting them to understand.  That's too tall an order.  This disorder is as much our responsibility as the doctor's. :-)


daydreamer21
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 4/12/2005 5:39 PM (GMT -7)   
well yeah my psychologist is trying me on many differnet things. I have impulsive and compulsive times and when i go manic i never ermember what happens to me. The meds definatly only work for when i am depressed and not when i am manic which my bf labels me as crazy, but the thing is he has a chronic illness to but his is more like physical than mine. I don't know its hard to keep anythign steady in my life and when im in my plateau im happy to be with him but i go manic and i wanna like fling him across the room. sometimes he doesnt get it, and just like my doctors doesnt understand anythign i say, its so frustrating. Not only am i bipolar but im being tested for Crohns and Celiacs disease soo its a heart breaking time for me. All i need is support and he walks out on me when i am manic and that doesnt help me at all. bo

rockypoint
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 4/12/2005 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
I do not know about you but my wife turned bipolar when she began to take a certain type of antidepressant. She had anxiety and depression for years and changing moods often but not to the extreme she reached last summer. Then my daughter was diagnosed with Lyme disease. Now I know that Lyme damages the brain and many other systems in the body and could show up as bipolar D. Guess what: my wife is positive for Lyme now we know. In fact, the whole family was found to be positive for Lyme. Lyme is very hard on the brain and causes many problems there including BD, Anxiety, Depression, ALG, MS, and many other neurological diseases. Make sure you are checked for Lyme with a Lyme educated doctor (regular doctors do not know about Lyme and regular labs are worthless for that test). Check the selected posting at the main page of the Healingwell.com page by ltgirl about pain, Lyme? for a full description of all the symptoms (tons of neurological symptoms), ways to find a doctor for that, and the lab to use (IGenex from CA). Good luck

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 4/13/2005 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   

Aren't you on a mood stabilizer????

What antidepressant are you on?  SSRIs without a sufficient mood stabilizer CAUSE mania in BPs who are prone.  If you are blacking out and having extreme rage, you are actually having some psychosis.  There is absolutely no excuse for this.  Have you told your pdoc??  You need a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic would be a very good idea.

What are your current meds?



daydreamer21
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 4/13/2005 4:38 PM (GMT -7)   
currently im on zoloft and they want me on Lexapro but i have heard such horrible things that i don't wanna take it. I have hard enough time remembering to take zoloft and when im manic i skip it all together becuase it does nothing for me. Alot of my depression has to do with teh fact that im obsessed about how i look and now with the weight gain and a doctor who speaks no english its hard to express anything to her. It is ridiculous to get someone to listen to me, and the only people who do are the people who are with me when i swing. Needless to say this is completely disrupting my life, and its horribly frustrating to not be able to explain to my boyfriend what is wrong and why he can't cure me. I have an appt on monday to decide on something new but who knows what they will give me, i wanna have a normal sex life and relationship with my boyfriend and i can't if i don't feel the urge for sex. Its frustrating
 

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 4/13/2005 4:44 PM (GMT -7)   

Well, the zoloft is the culprit for the mania and the lack of sex drive.  What kind of a doc are you seeing!!???  He obviously doesn't know how to treat BP; only making it worse.

Can't you see someone qualified who speaks English?  No more SSRIs (zoloft, lexapro, prozac, effexor, celexa and all the others).  You need a mood stabilizer and if depression is a problem, Lamictal is the drug of choice for this.  No sexual or weight gain side effects.

Tell me how you came across this doc; I will try to help you.


misstee
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 4/17/2005 7:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi I understand I just did the same thing with my new BF but my was more on the self sucking mode. I ended up moving out. It was all over a med change and insurance with there thumbs in other places. But now I feel even worse than I did when this all started and I just am really glad to find a place to just post my feelings and thoughts.
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