Hi, Ellie - sorry to hear you're doing poorly - I hate to say "I told you so", but didn't I say not to get treated by a GP!!!!!!! They DON'T have a clue about BP!
Get a pdoc quick - he will know exactly how to take you down, probably a little slower than the usual, it might make the crash more tolerable.
Yes, klonopin can be very depressing, as all benzos. I was on it, too and dreaded taking it, even tho I only took it when anxiety was unbearable, because it made me feel like crap, and I also couldn't nap on it. I still can't nap at all, but I don't even feel the need. If you get stable on a stabilizer, you won't need it. Just be SURE and write down the things you have said here, it is vital that you tell your pdoc. If you can't remember, read your posts!
Ah, the irritability! I was so irritable, I couldn't be touched, it made my skin crawl, literally and I wanted to climb out of it! Also, people's breathing or eating sounds would send me into a rage, I would have to leave the room and scream into a pillow! I think that was the single worst part of mania, but I had had it so long (not quite to that extent, it just got worse as time went by), that I didn't really know anything else.
When that goes away, I guarantee you will do anything to stay stable! It feels great to be nice to everyone!
I am sooooo glad to hear your husband has moved back in! Please don't f*** it up! Get stable now! Even if you have to endure a crash, just know it will go away - it's not forever! You CAN have a very happy marriage and be a much better mom, just stick it out.
Keep us informed, I am always glad to read your posts!