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michbud
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2003
Total Posts : 118
   Posted 5/17/2005 1:22 PM (GMT -7)   
sad  .....I don't know how to start, Some of you might remember my story that brought me here, just a quick update...... I am still waiting for my physc apt July 22nd... I have had epilepsy for 16yrs. have had all the tests and been on 5 diffrent meds for it, until recently I went to S.F and had the electrode test's. After 2 day's the doc comes in to tell me I don't have epilepsy I have bipolar...Well I for 1 had never heard of this and 2 what the hell was he saying????? All this time I did not have epilepsy??? all the hospital rides in the ambulance because of having severe granmal seizures, and now I am told it is bipolar.... Anyway this was in April, I had the consult with the phyc and now have the inicial apt July 22nd. I am on prosac, bentyl, and trazadone. I have a permanent ileoatomy due to severe colitis, also arthritis and I am 38yrs. As all I can do for now is read @ bipolor and talk to you all. I have been doing ok, and as I read I find that I do fit this profile!!!!! Almost too well, add ocd to it and its me...lol
Today I feel weird!!!! I am always compulsive obsessive about always staying buisy!!!! I never just sit...... but for the last 3 days that is all I want to do????? I am scared, this is not me!!! Before I go to sleep at night I get my next day all planned out as to what I am going to do, and if I sleep in, I feel guilty all day!!!!! Today I got up at 7am got my daughter to school and made excucess as to how I need to go back to bed. This is all in my head, I don't voice these thoughts.So I went back to bed this morning. I fell asleep @ 9am and woke up @ 10:30. I kept dozing, at 11:30 I was up and feeling really lost inside?I have been dreaming weird and it feels so real when I wake up. So I took a shower and here I am with a list of things to do, and I don't feel like doing any of them!!!! I am scared, this is not like me at all!!!!!!!! I don't know what to do, Do I make excuses for not doing anything, I just don't know. I feel like crying!!!
I need advise.......I know there are no docs here, I just want your advise with experience.........
huggggggggggggggssssssssssssssssss.........................
                                                        michelle
is this normal feeling for this disease?????

kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 5/17/2005 2:00 PM (GMT -7)   
 Hello Michelle, take a deep breathe. It is how I feel alot of the time.I always plan out my days in advance and am usually lucky to accomplish 1/2 of them. I feel so guilty when I don't get them all done and end up crying However there are other days when I am extremely, overly motivated and crank them all out. Then I wind up feeling so tired.About your dreaming, when I do get sleep; I dream some weird stuff to and when I wake up I can't decipher if it was real or not. I don't have any great advice to give you , I myself am trying to get stable still. Ask pyschnurse or nrs2b. They seem to be knowlegable in all aspects especially medications. Your experiencing a rough day so try and hang in there. Is there any way you can see your Dr. sooner? Huggssss back to ya!!!!!
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