Fear of dreaming, unfortunately as long as he is unstable and using drugs/alcohol in any way, his moods will always be priority over you or anything else in life. That's the naked truth about BPs that take whatever medicine, or the wrong one, and use. They are not stable and cannot think clearly past thier mood.
I suggest you really, really, really learn the details of how bad it can be. If he is like this just over the phone, it will be much worse when you see each other regularly, god forbid live together.
I hate to be a doomsayer, but it's reality. BP is for life, and the majority of BPs won't take meds, or they go on and off, so they are constantly manic, hypomanic, or depressed. Paranoia is a common feature too.
I'm not just a nurse, I have suffered it for 25 years, and I have made my family miserable, not to mention no long term relationships due to the horrible treatment of other people, always the closest ones. I am lucky my husband has put up with it for 11 years, he finally said if I didn't get stable, he was going to leave. This man is precious, an angel on this earth, so I finally got medicated and stable. Now, I am that wonderful person he fell in love with and I treat him like a king, never forgetting I have a lot of making up to do. But that was a long wait for him, and anyone else would have left me.
You need to decide if you can live like that. Don't do ANYTHING until he makes it a priority to get stable and STAY that way. BPs are famous for getting better and then going off their meds, it's classic.
This is a wonderful place to ask anything and everything you ever wanted to know about the details of this illness. What you read on the internet barely scratches the surface.