Hell, I am just plain lost...

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kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 6/24/2005 7:59 AM (GMT -7)   
 Hey everyone, I stopped all my meds. I can't take this anymore. I know I am going to regret this ! I know that what I am doing is wrong but I have to try it. I missed my doc appt. today, it was like 15 min. ago. I have been a raging, hyper, mess. I guess to label it would be mania. I can't seem to keep a single thought for longer than a sec. before another one interupts that.Someone told me at college yesterday, about sitting in a tanning bed, she said oh I just lay in their and relax and not think about anything. I said you have to be kidding, I lay in their , the bed feels like it's  spinning (or maybee it's just my head), I think about 1,000 thoughts in my 15 min. of tan. Do you know how envious I was of that? That is pathetic. I am not  that bad. I am not one of those people NO one write back mad by that please. This is all reference to myself really!!!! Was I in denial, now look I quit my meds to try and be "normal". I started back to school as noted, it just seems like I am falling here. NOte the last post on introduction. Any advice , opinions, suggestions or hell just plain telling me hey, that was dumb is greatly appreciated. I hope to see more posts on here. Remember that is what we are here for, to view and help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Peace and Love.
 
 From crazy N.

Ria
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2004
Total Posts : 40
   Posted 6/24/2005 7:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Kitty you are not alone. I have been walking the line of tossing the meds all week.  I swear I felt better before taking them now I am a mess all the time.  I went to see my pdoc yesterday and he wouldnt even listen to what was on my mind only telling me to up my meds.  Whats the difference between a psychiatrist and psychologist.  Because all he wants to do is rush me in and out in 15 min take my money and put me on more meds that are making me feel less normal then when I first went to see him.  I know that I suffer from GAD and depression but I am seriously questioning the BP diagnoisis.  I feel your pain kitty I need help too.
 
Ria

kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 6/25/2005 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
 Thank you for your response. To let ya know , I am back on meds. Didn't last long did it? LOL To answer your question a psychiatrist is a trained drug dealer, oh I mean they are qualified to prescribe your medication. It was a joke, noone write back please. HUMOR... Anyways, and a psychologist usually has a master's degree or Ph.D and they study the human mind and behavior. I look at them more like a therapist, counselor, essentially. They Help you with your problems , with the knowledge that they have.
They cannnot prescribe medication. Noted. Sounds like you need a new pdoc, one that spend some time with you to make the proper dx. I have a wonderful GP that treats my BP, and my diabetes... Not my female care though. I feel better today, hmmmm...... meds....maybee...look out happy, here comes your sister sad and your brother angry , oh get out of the way for pissy... ha ha

Post_It
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/26/2005 8:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Just out of curosity what kind of meds were you on? I decided to stop taking mine today....it seems like they were pushing me a lot closer to the edge than i wanted to be....sure it did a great job of slowing down the thought process but once the thought came in ....it tended to stay.....i am not suicidal...but i seemed like i was getting there on them...i wasn't that way before i sought help...i was just trying to control nervous breakdowns. I am bi polar and recovering for post traumatic stress. Were their any side effects other than the thoughts rushing in...i have been bi polar all my life...thats normal to me....that doesn't scare me?

kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 6/26/2005 10:10 AM (GMT -7)   
 Hello post it and welcome. I am back on my meds , I think I went like one day and realized uh.. oh.. this isn't going to work. I went through mania for a week just lately and that is why I quit my meds. I was prescribed effexor as my anti-d, and that threw me into mania for a week. Sometimes anti-d's can do that , so I am told. So per doc, I was to stop taking them, and see him this past friday, well that didn't happen because I was still crazy and not about to leave my house. So that is the day I also quit my topomax. I currently am back on my topamax 100mg, and will call my doc ( monday) and explain why I missed my appt. I have to again try another anti-d. Probably gonna try prozac again. I am diabetic and have to watch what I am on. I am BP type I, oh loads of fun. I still am looking to be stable, I also suffered from PTSD which triggered my BP, and made it 100 x worse. So I truly understand. Let me know how you are doing. I pop in and out, at least once a day , I go to urg. tech school , so I am kinda busy. Pyschnurse how ya doing? Where ya been? Hope you are ok!!!! :-)

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 6/28/2005 3:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Kittykat!

I am so sorry to hear what a horrible time you are having - please remember not to give up.  The times we want to give up is when we need help the most. 

Did you get in touch with your doctor?  If so, what did he/she say?

I caution you about starting Prozac; it's in the same class as Effexor, Zoloft, Lexapro, Celexa, and all the others.  (SSRIs) They ALL cause mania, one no more or less than another; stay away!

Why not ask your doc for Lamictal - it is practically a miracle for BP depression, it doesn't work for regular people's depression and is also a mood stabilizer, although I wouldn't recommend you use that as the only stabilizer with BP1.  Welbutrin (WITH mood stabilizer) is also fairly safe for most BPs; it's not the same class as the SSRIs.

I take both and they saved my life - no joke.  I was at a point all I thought of was suicide 24/7, lying in bed totally non functioning for almost 2 months.

I do hope you talk to your doc and get this straightened out; you can't be taking ADs, going off, starting up again with same class, or you will be in the hospital, sweetie!!!

Please let me know how you're doing, OK?

 

Shannon :-)


psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 6/28/2005 3:59 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Kittykat!

I am so sorry to hear what a horrible time you are having - please remember not to give up.  The times we want to give up is when we need help the most. 

I am glad to hear you went back on the Topomax.  Did you get in touch with your doctor?  If so, what did he/she say?

I caution you about starting Prozac; it's in the same class as Effexor, Zoloft, Lexapro, Celexa, and all the others.  (SSRIs) They ALL cause mania, one no more or less than another; stay away!

Why not ask your doc for Lamictal - it is practically a miracle for BP depression, it doesn't work for regular people's depression and is also a mood stabilizer, you are already on Topomax, so that's good.    Welbutrin (WITH mood stabilizer) is also fairly safe for most BPs; it's not the same class as the SSRIs.

I take both and they saved my life - no joke.  I was at a point all I thought of was suicide 24/7, lying in bed totally non functioning for almost 2 months.

I do hope you talk to your doc and get this straightened out; you can't be taking ADs, going off, starting up again with same class, or you will be in the hospital, sweetie!!!

Please let me know how you're doing, OK?

 

Shannon :-)


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 6/29/2005 11:33 AM (GMT -7)   
 Thanks shannon, kinda miss talkin to ya. I am as noted back on topamax. Struggling though. I can't seem to figure out why I am so up and down now. Missed my doc appt. , meant to call and then school kinda got busy. I need to go though because clinical will be starting at the end of august and I don't want to be all over the place. I want to be on my meds and at least have them in my system , and helping. I am so worried about surgical clinicals and my bp. Will I be able to handle all this pressure ? I have to . I guess I am just really stressed out about that episode with the effexor and scared to call the doc because I do not want to be sent into mania again. I was really scared.Lamictal and wellbutrin ok for me even though I have diabetes? It is a question cause I really don't know. How do you know which one to try first? Any weight gain side effects with either? Also what is the starting dose usually for BP pts. ? Thanks again Shannon, Sorry so many question I just know that you know. Anyways let me know before I call my doc . Wanting to call him on FRi. or next Mon. no later. Nickie 

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 6/29/2005 12:34 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Nickie!

Sorry I hadn't been around much, I am a member of the medical team on the Doctor's Lounge.com and have been really busy there, too.  I didn't forget about you guys! :-)

I am so sorry you are bouncing around; only thing I can tell you is that is precisely what happens with SSRIs, first you get manic, then you stop the meds, then you crash, and then up and down for a while.  That's why most pdocs will not give those to BPs, unless their condition is very mild.

As long as you're on a therapeutic dose of Topomax, as you are (but was it controlling mania before the effexor?), you can start out at 150 mg for about a week, then 300, the highest is 400mg.  It does work very well with no weight issues (except less of an appetite) and no sexual side effects, yea!  That's worth gold right there, IMO.   Plus it's cheap, you can get the SR generic, but not the XL (once a day).  If you smoke, it can really help you quit - it's the med people take for stopping smoking, too.

Lamictal is really necessary, IMO because it is also a mood stabilizer, but it keeps you from going down, it does have a good AD effect.  No knows why; it was just discovered in BP studies using it.  I take both, it's a lifesaver, literally.  Therapeutic dose is 200 mg, but you have to start low and go up slow, because in extremely rare cases, a rash that is life threatening can develop if you rush it; usually start out around 25 mg, and titrate up by 25 mg every 7-10 days.  I know, what a pain in the butt, but believe me, it's worth it.

They are both fine for diabetes, just make sure to eat enough if your appetite is reduced by the welbutrin.

I didn't know you were going into medicine!  Bravo - it's fascinating, huh?  What is the title you're going for?

As far as handling pressure; I think you have done a great job this far with being a single mom and going to college!  You will learn so much in clinicals, you might wonder why you went to book school, haha!  That will prepare you for "real world" functioning, don't worry, you will do great.  :-)

Hey, don't ever apologize for asking questions - I'm here to help anyone who wants help or information, OK?

Let me hear from you soon, OK?

Shannon


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 6/30/2005 1:27 PM (GMT -7)   
 Hi Shannon, I am taking the Surgical technology program. I just started, have another 1 1/2 left. I will have my Bachelors in Allied Health then. I want to work in plastic surgery, the pay is better their, than in hospitals. Unless you are a circulating or first assistant, like in cardio.... Anyways, I will go on , just don't know if I want to do P.A. or Anesthiology. Tuition is high either way. I feel like I have been in school already forever. Anyways, thanks . I think I will talk to my doc first about both lamictal, and wellbutrin and see what he thinks to. Ultimately it is up to me. Thanks again, I understand how busy you are, just pop in every once in awhile. You help keep me grounded!!!!! I gotta go call the doc and make my appt. :-) Had a bad day, but the minutes get better.

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 6/30/2005 2:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Wow, Nickie that sounds great!  I think plastic surgery would be really interesting.

Just see how you do being a surg tech first, and if you decide to go on, great!  I always wanted to be a P.A; they are practically docs!

I'm so glad you're going to talk to your doc about those meds; let me know what he says, I'll be anxious to see!

I do hope your day gets better, hang in there.  How cliche, huh?

 

Shannon


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 7/2/2005 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
 Thanks Shannon, I will be e-mailin ya soon. Have a great fourth of July. I have alot of studying to do. I will take breaks though and enjoy the day!

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 7/2/2005 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
No problem, anytime!  You have a great 4th, too. yeah
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