Dear friends- "Hi" i'm brand new here & need your feedback. Sorry if i seem to ramble--but things i say are relevant.
I'm 57 yr old retited HS teacher-married-no kids. I have mitral valve prolapse--Irritable bowel syndrome & just 2 wks ago--diagnosed with underactive throid--i will see endocrinologist in 2 wkss---hopefully w the meds (synthroid)--i'll be feeling better---OK--here's my "tale of Woe".
Am writer who has spent last 9 winters out in Beverly Hills CA.--"pitching my scripts"--returning back east in mid April (rented small room)---Have a hobby as a "part time astrologer"--in this way--met & befriended young aspiring actress/model from midwest (S. Dakota)---we became friends--she'd stop over to get "readings" (i felt bad for her & did not charge her)--as i got to know her---her story---had an adorable son--who was being raised by her mom in S. Dakota--this was 1996--he was 4 at this point.
She showed my his photos--adorable kid! Child did not know father----shortly there after we exchanged phone #s---gave me her mom's # in S. Dakota--i & my wife used to talk w her son--by phone---adorable. Each Christmas & his B'day--sent him gifts ( i sent him a "PHILLIES" shirt he luved)-
Finally in summer of 1999--kid moves out to LA w his mom---in Jan 2000---i start babysitting. We become very close & bond---i'm like a "father" or "uncle" to him--we play baseball---i teach him to shoot baskets---he luvs when i babysit.
Now--i find out his mom is getting involved w guys who do not have her best interests at heart---guys who are just using her. I try to talk to her--no luck---even her mom in S. Dakota is worried about her.
Finally we have words--& tell her if she is not careful---she could get in trouble---& that child would be better raised back home--she becomes angry--hangs up on me----changes phone #---& starts returning all gifts me & my wife sent to son--B';day & Christmas.
My friends--i miss this kid as much as a son! I get very depressed--this is 2000---now--it's 5 yrs---not sleeping right---depressed--etc--i feel it is a "Situational" depression--due to missing child.
Last week--with my wifes prodding i go see a psychiatrist---(i'm covered by my ife's ins--Pers-Choice--so i must get someone who takes that ins)--i call up 6 shrinks from list--only one gets back--woman w strong S. American accent.
I go--past Friday---i tell her this story--show her photos of child--trying to get across my heartbreak & maybe understand my deprssion--15 mins into the 1 hr session (I'm paying for)--she starts rolling her eyes
---saying in strong accent--"So what happened?"----i look at my watch--hey -it's only 15 mins in----after 20 mins--i finish--she diagnoses me as BipolarII (the milder one)--and prescribes--Depakote---1000mg/day. I come home--check out this depakote--it is poison!! (liver tests must be taken--i'm already on lipitor---nausea, seizures)--who needs it----my wife is surprised--just thought i was depressed--my eife's friend (a mutual friend & RN)--says i am NOT BP!! Tells me not to take epakote--wait till my Thyroid is treated..see how i feel. My friends---do all shrinks diagnose--so quickly?? OK--during session i taled rapidly (i always do--when i'm excited & upset)--& i cried--heck--this is a sad story!!!
I'm confused--please get back w any feedback---i appreciate it deeply---Blessings--Wotan