Hi KittyKat. I loved your idea. I AM ALWAYS INTO LEARNING THINGS about MY PEERS! So here goes:
1. I wish I could find some friends that could accept me illnesses and all.
2. Am VERY materialistic. I have over 150 pairs of Manolo's. Jimmy Choo's and Dolce, plus every designer handbag made,plus 3 closets full of clothes. I might add that 90% of these items have never been worn, and still bear the price tag. I have a Navigator and a Jag. 2 houses. I have a girl come to my house for manis and pedis EVERY week. The best part is my vehicles are in the garage and r rarely used. I ONLY LEAVE THE HOUSE TO GET MY MEDS!!!!
3. I love children and wish I could have at least one
4. I think with my heart instead of my brain, which leads to problems.
5. I live for criminal TV, all the CSI's, Law&Orders, and cant forget my fav..House (that is medical, tho)
So that is just a small part of this messed up being. My loving sister, who I love with all my heart and soul turned me onto this site as she has been trying for years to understand why I do what I do, and thanks to you all she is learning and our relationship is the best it has ever been. I promise not to take you all for granted EVER. Lastly, I still think we should do our own "intervention" on Tom Cruise
Stox4pat and pepperina30, HELLO and thanks for your responses. Stox4pat, shopping , we have in common. I think it's a manic bipolar trait or something.LOL Also have to agree with your #4 on your list. It sucks sometimes because you can really get hurt. I too am a huge fan of CSI and those types of shows. ( I am in the medical field) In response to your #1 on the list, I think you just did find ome friends who accept all of you. Welcome again!!!! Pepperina30, we have something in common also, we take the same med , topomax.How long you been on the topomax, and how many milligrams are you taking? Happy posting!!!
Hello my beautiful friends. How is everyone doing. I apologize that I will mix up the names (re: my Epilepsy...no memory, but I will try), so no offensive I will just ramble. OK, Colleen as far as the shoes, yes they are mail order, God forbid I would leave the house. I wear a size 9 in non-designer shoes (like Victorias secret), but my Manolos, Jimmy Choos, Dior, YSL, Dolce are a 10, size 40 in Europe sizing. If u r my size, I will leave them to you in my Will as the only other person I would give my stuff to is my sis and she REFUSES to have any fashion sense. And for the record she told me none of u girls would EVER talk to me again after my post about being materialistic...guess she was wrong!!! Ya' love me anyway !!!!! Pepper, I SOOOOO understand the female companionship thing...I miss that the most. I wished u lived is South florida...we could hang daily, all of us for that matter. Maye in the future a bunch of us could meet up in a fun place, huh? sounds like we all could use some fun in our lives. I have zero friends that aren't male and most of them are gay, and the others just like my boobs (fake, I might add...LOL!!!). I swear I wouldn't know what it is like to have a girlfriend that just loves me for me, all the bullcrap aside! As far as dogs go.. I can so relate. I have 2 and they are my life. they are my children, my best friends, etc. It must come with the territory...LOL. Dana, I pray that your hopes of conceiving come to fruition. How long have u een trying? Are you OK health wise? I mean, there is nothing wrong with you or your signifigant other as far as your female parts and his male parts? You all talk to me soon.
Love you all to pieces,
Fear of dreaming , what type of artwork do you do? I can't paint a lick, but am always fascinated by the creativity people have. I wasn't blessed with that. However put a pool stick in front of me with a table, and watch the magic! Other than that all I am is book smart. I too wear alot of black, but only in the fall or winter, cause that is how I feel , dark, depressed and lonely! You would think since I alreaddy know how I am going to feel , I would wear brighter colors, never happens. Thanks for joining in!
Wow! You all are my twins! I can relate to every single thing I've read so far, except materialism.
Especially dogs! I have 2 dobermans that are my life besides hubby! I knew when I was a child I didn't want children, only a wonderful husband to share my life with. I also feel that way about shelters, I can't even go in. They are all there because people are irresponsible, don't have time to spend with them and they eventually become just a bother with behaviour problems from lack of attention and training. Very sad.
I paint and sketch and play piano (classical). I thought when I got stable the creativity would go away, but I'm actually a better painter now, I don't hate every single work like I used to, haha. (Perfectionist)!
Also have no female friends; sick of being judged. My husband is my everything and the best friend I ever had. I just can't relate to other "normal" women and obviously bipolar isn't something you can hide from someone who gets close. Bummer. Also don't have a lot of love for people in general, it seems so many are just ignorant about people in general, IMHO of course.
I really hope I don't sound like I know everything on this board, I just want to help because it is a very complex illness, but I have PLENTY of disorders, one of them borderline personality; it seems almost all bipolars have this problem, too!
Danarx, I do hope you get pregnant soon; how long have you been trying?
I just love it here, because we can all relate to each other. I have never had that before. I wish you all were here in Dallas, haha!
Well, thanks for listening to me ramble!
Thank you, fear of dreaming! I feel like I can actually talk about all my "disorders" here, I can't anywhere else. The LAST thing you want people to know about is being BP. Even people you have known casually for a long time treat us differently when they find out, and not for the more positive, haha! And the people who love us and try to understand never will because it is something that has to be experienced to understand; words can't express it. OK, here's my rant for the day:
Do you all get sick of people trying to tell you you need a therapist for BP, and medicine is a crutch? As if it's just your lousy attitude toward life!!!!!!!!!! Or worse yet, that you should just take some St. John's wort and vitamins or diet and excercise! (Tom Cruise) Or when you're so depressed you can't even get out of the bed to shower or use the toilet because you're so weak, they tell you just to "get out and do some things"???!!!! Unreal! They will never understand the total mind/body shutdown that happens. Don't you hate it when your manic and you're mean to the people you love most because you have no control over the rage and irritability and then regret it with all your being 5 minutes later and can't apologize enough, so you cry and hate yourself?
I still do that, much less than I used to (constantly), but I still hate myself jsut as much when I do. Luckily, my husband does understand and is the most patient person on this earth. He knows I don't mean it, but that really doesn't make me feel any better.
Yeah, I'm stable. I think this is as good as it gets for some. I know I always say "Just get stable and you will feel great", which is true for the most part, but you still do get mood swings, just not nearly as bad.
On the other hand, since I have bankrupted us due to my uncontrolled spending among other things I won't even mention here, he still loves me and has never let me down. How many guys would stay for that? I can't really complain; if lesser mood swings still happen, I am thankful and lucky. Believe me, every day is Thanksgiving in my mind. (I still have some gripes, tho, haha!)
Thanks for listening!
Hi, Dana! Thank you so much for the kind words; isn't it amazing that many of us have a general dislike of people! Before I moved to Dallas 20 years ago, I used to smile at strangers, that's just how we are in the midwest, and I quickly noticed here, you never get a smile back. They just stare. So I quit smiling, and then I found out the people here are wayyyyyyyyyyyyy different (not in a good way!) from where I grew up. Oh, well. That's how it started, but I have always been paranoid about people looking/staring at me. Considerate? I've never seen manners on anyone here. Rude is an understatement. I feel like I'm living in NYC! (No offense to anyone there intended). Does anybody else here also have phobias of crowds or groups of people? I get panic attacks if I go to a crowded place, last month it was the mall. I lasted about 10 minutes, then BOOM. Paul had to get me out of there asap. Took me 30 minutes to calm down!
Dana, I have seen soooo many couples who have had a really hard time conceiving get pregnant after an adoption. When you are stressing and obsessing over it; it can be a problem. It seems when people relax and get the "it'll happen when it happens" attitude, it happens. Just like when your period is late, because of stress. You keep stressing (say you don't want to be pregnant), and you wait, and wait, then you take a pregnancy test. It's negative. Then, your period comes the next day! When women stress, (especially about these issues) it totally throws off their cycle. I suggest you try yoga. (hatha yoga, not power yoga). It does totally relax your mind and body, and since you are not being medicated (scary) right now, it could help your moods, too.
Just a thought!
Dana, remember keep your head up, I am praying that you do conceive. You sound amazing!!! Just like Shannon said, relax and maybe it will fall together for you!
P.S. If you want to have mine for a few days, so I can study that would be great. Kidding, I am not trying to give her away, just sometimes I need a break. Not to mention, I hate studying at 11:00 at night, when she goes to bed, I am so tired! Any suggestions on how to get her to go to bed earlier. She doesn't even take naps, up at 7:30, then to bed at 11:00. I think she's scared she might miss something! lol
Post Edited (dave z) : 7/17/2005 11:28:32 AM (GMT-6)