Not quite sure what you mean by forgive yourself. Ever since I had my daughter, who is 3, she has helped me survive with my BP. She does it without even knowing. I love her to death, that's why I don't harm myself, although I felt like it the other day. I think she has blessed me in more ways than one. I had a terrrible addiction to alcohol before I had her, now it is different I see the importance in life. Explain more of what you mean and maybe I can help!