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Kathytu
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/9/2005 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   
My husband is being diagnosised with BP at 52 after 20 years of marriage. My son graduated from high school and he went totally manic. He has done this before like when he turned 50, my father died, his father died. Loss tends to trigger it. I just thought it was his way of mourning, that and the alcohol. This time was the worst. Three weeks into it he started to take Seroquel. (300mg) then  ambilify(600mg)for a month and now is on 900mg seraquel. It seemed like forever for this to work. He  denies having BP because he says he doesn't have the depression part. Although he knows he must take the meds and plans on seeing the pdoctor who hasn't had any discussion with him yet.  He doesn't look good. He just doesn't have any expression almost like he is in a stupor. He has a hard time waking up. He is still not himself. When will my husband return? I keep waiting for him to discuss his craziness with me. He hurt me so bad. I had alot of the emotions he was having. (fear,anger,depression) He thinks I'm the crazy one and has told my kids it's me that is crazy. I tried to be understanding and patient. I couldn't be when he was doing such dangerous things. It was like I was his good conscious and he was fighting me. He was pushing me away. He took off with a old girlfriend(not sexual) and I was left worrying about his safety. I have a wonderful man and love him deeply. I am so afraid of this happening again. It is so frightening. Kathytu 
 

kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 8/9/2005 9:37 AM (GMT -7)   
 Hello Kathy and welcome to Healing well. Sounds frustrating , what your going through, you will find alot of support here, if here is where you need it. There are family members that do post who they, themselves aren't Bipolar but their loved ones are. With all that said, okay, I am slightly confused dx at the age of 52? And in the post you mentioned the pdoc hasn't seen him yet. Who dx him? He doesn't sound Bipolar to me, but I am going on only little information .I am no doctor either, but i do have BP. Alcohol mixed with any type of emotion will intensify situations also. I used to do that! Explain to me what you feel manic is, and what he does when you think he is manic so I have a litle more of an understanding of the situation. It sounds like when important situautions arise your husband can tolerate maybe the stress or overcome the emotion of it all. I don't really put things into words that well, sorry, I know what I am trying to say just can never get it out, anyays please write back witha tad bit more info. Has he ever been clinically dx with depression before, has he ever shown signs of ....well here take a look at a thread started the other day by someone , one minute....

kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 8/9/2005 9:40 AM (GMT -7)   
 Check out mom has bipolar, thread started by pboathouse. Psyschnurse(Shannon), has all the info. you need in their. It's a list about being dx with Bipola. Hope that helps. Sorry i am still not with it today.

Kathytu
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/9/2005 10:22 AM (GMT -7)   

When my husband was 17 he had a period that he couldn't sleep. The family doctor said it was a pre ulcer. He went into the Navy and they put him on lithem. I'm sure he had other episodes. Loss seems to trigger it.

The pdoctor now has only given him meds because he was so manic. He has not been told he is bp. He has all the symtoms. not sleeping,grandiose, spending,forced speech,anger. He has done some very bad embarrassing things  this time. There seems to be some depression mixed with the mania. He thinks he is the greatest basketball player ever. I wasn't able to count on him for anything, which is so unlike him. Mom has bipolar helps


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 8/9/2005 10:33 AM (GMT -7)   
 Mom has Bipolar? His mom? Okay so he has not been dx yet, but he does show symptoms similiar to that of Bipolr. Where is he now? Do you ever see him depressed, like when there is loss he is manic not depressed right? Everyone is different , I am way out there , so it's ok. I just think I remember you saying , he was mostly manic with few episodes of depression with that be accurate to say? Do your children notice any of these behaviors, because I have to tell you , I noticed these things in my dad and my grandma ( they've never been dx) , before I noticed them in myself. I think they are much more ... RUDE towards people than I . They have more hostility and anger, than I do. Of course , they think it's everyone else is fault. So I was the lucky child to " get the gene" , passed on down to me!!!! lol Inhereited. Anyways, i feel reaaly bad you are going through this, but you are going to need family support, but alot times , it isn't always there, so that's where we can help!

Kathytu
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/9/2005 11:28 AM (GMT -7)   

I was saying the mom has biploar sight was helpful.

 His mom told me his dad had it and I can see his brother also has it. Neither dx. The weird thing about him is he never has had the severe depression, only crying bouts with the mania. Yes, my kids are aware. He has been very abusive with my 12 year old.Yelling at him all the time. This summer I changed my work schedule so I could be home with my son during the day  and my husband home with him at night. Well as it turns out i needed to be with my husband at night. It has been very difficult and effects my job. My other son (18) was very upset at first.  Now I think he is in denial and thinks I'm the crazy one. I talk to my husband many times during the day and he sounds good but when I saw him last  weekend he doesn't look good. He looks worn out. Groggy. I really don't have support from his family they are also in denial. I do have a girl friend who is a nurse practiciner and has helped alot with medicine knowledge. Thanks for listening.!!!

 

He loves to listen to LOUD music. He gets very angry when I ask him to turn it down.


psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 8/9/2005 11:43 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi, Kathytu, I am so glad you found us; it's a really good bunch of people.  IMO, your husband displays some classic mania symptoms.  The running off with an old girlfriend is classic; I did the same about 5 years ago, I am NOT proud of it, and will regret it always.  The grandiosity is key; not found in any illnesses except BP and schitzophrenia.  In order to be diagnosed wtih BP, the requirement is mania or hypomania for more than 4 days.  Type I may only have one depressive episode in their whole life, it's mania.  Type II tends to be a little more depressed than manic.   I feel that he is probably BP.  He is on a very high dose of Seroquel, that's probably why he is so groggy.  He really needs a mood stabilizer WITH the Seroquel.  I know it is a ***** living with an untreated BP, the worst.  Most of us are really wonderful people, you just can't see it when we're sick.  If/when he gets BP diagnosis, he is going to have to learn to accept it, and take his meds. This is much easier said than done; we almost all go on and off, and are in denial for a long time.    I recommend when he starts them, you monitor his pills.  Count them, but don't tell him you're going to, just in case he isn't taking them.  It happens a lot.  When he starts a stabilizer, you should start to see improvement in a matter of days, but maybe not, as dosages vary widely from person to person.  It's hard to treat, I will not lie.  you have to be very diligent, observant and be in very close contact with your doc, don't let anything get out of control, call at the first signs of trouble.  Learn all you can, you will need to be able to spot them immediately, because he won't know.  It's so hard for us to tell.  Or he may deny it, too.  Blaming the spouse for being crazy or "making him" do the things we do is classic. 

I highly recommend you seek marriage counseling, because meds can only do so much.  He has to learn to deal with things, and he needs to understand your side, too.  A counselor can moderate the conversation so that a big wicked fight doesn't start, and results can be had.

God, I don't have enough time to tell you everythng, there's so much to know! 

Please let us know what the pdoc says, what meds he is prescribed and how you both are feeling about it, OK?  We are here anytime for ya!

Shannon


Kathytu
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/9/2005 12:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for info. I plan on seeing a marriage counsler after he is stable and talks to the doctor. I feel he needs to know what he has done to me. I know it's not his fault but I fear this happening again. He was so unsafe and a really bad influence on the boys. I read a excellent book. The years of silence are past My father's life with bp. It was very informative. I want to know everything there is to know. I love this man. I hate to think what would happen when his mother dies or if anything happened to me.

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 8/9/2005 12:53 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank goodness he has you; and that you want to learn all about it. 

I know if it weren't for my husband, I would be dead.  He is my reason for living.  I have been sick for the first 10 years of our marriage, refused to take my meds, classic BP stuff.  I made his life miserable, bankrupted us, the whole bit.  Yet, he stayed and continued to love me and not judge.  It's a miracle.  I got stable last year after he finally told me I would have to medicate or he couldn't stay.  I knew I needed him, and loved him, but when I got better, I had no idea how much I love that man.  I treat him like a god, I have a lot of making up to do, but know what?  He doesn't believe I do at all.   I adore him, and things are better than I ever could have imagined a marriage to be; he's wonderful.   I hope that your husband will do the right thing.  Under the sickness is no doubt a beautiful person.

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