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Arenace
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 8/16/2005 2:21 PM (GMT -7)   
Feeling scary down today. Ready to crawl under the table and pull the tablecloth around me. Used to hide in big boxes! Trying to stay focused. Trying not to turn off all the lights and close the blinds. But it is a real struggle...
Bipolar brings new meaning to the "Little Ups And Downs Of Life!!"
 
Sandra


 


psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 8/16/2005 2:28 PM (GMT -7)   

Sandra I'm sorry you're so down. sad   when did it start? How have you been the last week or so?  Did anything possibly happen?  Have you called the pdoc?  I know you said you keep on top of things really well.

Shannon


Arenace
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 8/16/2005 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   

I called him, I go in at 8am on Thurs. he doesn't want to adjust my meds because he just adjusted them for an epidode the other way, crap. I hate this I swear sometimes it's just not worth the anquish or the struggle

 


Bipolar brings new meaning to the "Little Ups And Downs Of Life!!"
 
Sandra


 


psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 8/16/2005 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I know you think that now, you feel like crap.  But it IS worth the struggle.  You'll be okay again that's how it goes.  Even when your attentive about your meds.  We can't be level all the time, I have had a rough time of it today, but it's back up.  I am up and down (mildly) all the time.  But I think of how much better it is now than then!  Most of the time, dont you find you feel ok?  Try not to lose perspective on that, Paul has noticed that I take a bad time and think it has been much longer than it actually has.  It's  hard to pinpoint.  Keep a mood chart if you don't already, it's helpful to you and your doc.    When you adjust meds for being too hyper, you can expect to feel down for a day or a few days.  that's just how it works.  It sucks, yes!  But think about how it used to be, try to keep it in perspective.    And write in here often, I find it really helps.  It took me a long time to be myself here, but I'm glad the people here totally welcomed me and I started to feel more comfortable.  We all need support, Sandra! 

Arenace
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 8/16/2005 4:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Okay, I know, I know. I'm settling down. I am repeating your words and trying to remember that this is NOTHING compared to what it used to be. This is a bad few days THAT was a whole bunch of nightmare days but oh God this feels so bad right now. Deep breathes deep breathes....Okay...I'll just eat some ice cream....no I won't I'm kidding, that makes it worse. Speaking of which, does anyone else get worse when they eat sweets????? Or is it all in my head? No pun intended. Hey Shannon, thanks, you always seem to be able to make me feel more grounded.
Bipolar brings new meaning to the "Little Ups And Downs Of Life!!"
 
Sandra


 


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 8/16/2005 6:45 PM (GMT -7)   
 Yeah it could be worse, you could be bouncy like me all day long, I am sure you have had those days, I still frequently do. Hmmmmm....... I always thought it was a personality trait i had.he he. Just trying to cheer everyone up today. about sweets, wouldn't know too much. I have diabetes, although it is controlled, diet and exercise, daily glucose test. You should see my fingers. lol I never had it till I got prego, than it stayed with me, I have lost quite a bit of weight. I am right where I am suppose to be for my weight, maybe even a little lighter. I still would like to loose about 10 lbs. Always something, never happy. Ramble, blah , blah.Also wanted to add that my meds make some food, taste funny. Soda, yuck! Even diet tastes funny. I don't know. Glad you are reaching a calmer place. well until tomorrow......................

Arenace
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 8/16/2005 7:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Ahh Nickie you take topamax don't you?
Bipolar brings new meaning to the "Little Ups And Downs Of Life!!"
 
Sandra


 


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 8/17/2005 5:46 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah 200mg, of topamax is my limit. Too concerned with getting any side effects other than bad tasting food. I have really no other side effects.

Arenace
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 8/17/2005 6:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Good Morning...still a little on the blue side but feeling much better. Thank you so much for listening. It's so nice to have a place to go to be able to say he I'm feeling like He** or Hey I'm feeling way to good today and people understand what you mean by those statements. And of course my fear is not always what I am feeling today but what those times might mean I will be feeling tomorrow. I tell you, how could BPer's not be the best at relationships, well aside from the ups and downs and the yelling and the, well anyway, cause God knows we are sure in touch with our moods/feelings when we are on our meds!! I know I know it doesn't work that way, because I suck at relationships! But someday I'll find a Paul or a Jason that loves me just the way I am, you just wait and see!
Bipolar brings new meaning to the "Little Ups And Downs Of Life!!"
 
Sandra


 


psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 8/17/2005 7:10 AM (GMT -7)   

Good morning, Sandra!  I'm so happy to hear you're doing some better.  It will lift it always does, that's what keeps me going.  Although it totally SUCKS at the time, we all know it's temporary, right?  I think that's the good side to BP, we aren't dooomed to stay in the dark place forever, like clinical depression.  (Although IMO our "dark place" is worse).

Haha, good perspective on being good at relationships, it's true!  Whenever I feel any even miniscule distance happening with me and Paul, I am on it!  He even comments on that.  So that's an upside, too.! :-)

As for sweets, yes!  They cause bad mood swings!  Even tho I will still binge on chocolate if I feel bad enough, not only do I feel guilty after, but the sugar crash a few hours later causes even more depression and irritability.  So I avoid that by doing it in the evening, that way I sleep it off, lol!

Nickie, you poor thing, diabetes sucks, but I am so glad you keep it under control.  Being a med person, it's good to have that knowledge, huh?  You know there are newer glucometers that you don't have to prick your fingers (OOOUUUCCHHH), just your forearm and it takes less than a drop of blood - why don't you get one of those?

You're right, Sandra, you WILL find a nice guy, now that you're doing pretty well, you'll do much better in the relationship department, lol.  Maybe he will call you "intense" instead of psycho! tongue

I'm feeling very good today, yea!  At least since I upped teh Seroquel and Trileptal I can sleep all the way through the night, whew!  It makes all teh difference.

Well, as usual  I have rambled enough!  Talk to you later! :-)

Shannon


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 8/17/2005 12:42 PM (GMT -7)   
 Hello to all, I am stillokay, just not as hyper that has all lifted, and I am just here today, so expect no great humor just a calm, relaxed ,passive person today. I think I have exhausted myself. Shannon, I have a certain insurance, and I am kinda stuck with what I have. I am lucky to have any at all, insurance that is. I could find no recent picture , so when I am feeling froggy, I will take one and email it too ya. Depends on my mood, although my mother says, I take Beautiful pictures. Whatever! I really am not a camera person, a huge change from yrs. ago . You couldn't get me away from pictures, my dad would say oh look, another picture of Nickie. Ha Ha. Take care.... 
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