Hi, babybloo - welcome to our humble abode !
My name is Shannon (there are two nurse Shannons, lol, you'll learn to tell us apart eventually!) I am also a rapid cycler, but pretty stable most of the time on meds. Took several tries on different ones, but finally got the right cocktail. Please don't be discouraged thinking meds make it worse, the right ones don't, they make it soooooo much better. At first on a stabilizer when you get brought down from a mania, you will crash, and feel terrible for awhile - it's inevitable, but then you'll get back up and feel normal for the first time in your life and then you'll wonder why you were so resistant, and you'll never want to go back again. I still have mood swings, of course, but we all do, no matter what the meds, but its not dangerous or unbearable at all. Rapid cyclers have the hardest time staying level, so we can expect that sometimes.
Congratulations on your divorce!!!! I am a firm believer in tossing aside what makes you sicker, and lots of times, it's the "SO". I am sorry you have to be a single parent, it's hard too, but I think the child AND actually benefit from no strife in the family.
Oh, I soooooooo understand about the workplace people!!!!! I was fired from my first two jobs for the horrible irritability that basically led me to say F*** off to my bosses, hehe. have also been friends with supervisors who like to get gossip. I was real bad about that one, not proud of it. Also, a friend supervisor of mine let it out to all the girls i am BP, of course people think you're an axe murderer or something, and I eventually left becuase one of them made me miserable and was never reprimanded for it. Also, I know about lazy employees! I f******** HATED them! I was overly productive, as we BPs are, and had no patience for lazy, slow or what I perceived to be stupid people (a real charming BP trait, as I'm sure you know, lol)! So I kind of lacked a little on the social graces scale, lol. People either loved me or hated me, usually authority hated me, haha. Oh, well, the feeling was very mutual.
If you're comfortable sometime, you can share your story with us, we always like to commiserate all the horrible things we've done. And I'm sure someone here can always do one better than what you've done, lolol, that's the beauty of this forum!
Soooooooooo, can ya tell we all ramble? You know that's part of the deal, right? Don't apologize, I think we all actaully like to read long posts! That's how we get to know each other, so ramble on, as Led Zep says! Oh, wait that was before your time, haha.
Glad to meetcha!