I am slumping again... Read only if you can handle it.OK

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kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 9/5/2005 10:43 AM (GMT -7)   
 Hey all. To all that cares, otherwise don't f***** read. I am not going to offend anyone if they don't read , am I? Anyways, I am tired of people and am really hostile. Like today the phone ringing, that pissed me off. Because when I was on my two-way, my friend asks the most ridiculous question.I feel easily irritated and annoyed. I am due to go in to see the doc. I really don't want to f***** do that either. I am tired of hearing about my friends stupid , tacky , shi**y , minute problems. I want to be rude, but I am not to them. i was thinking it was probably just me, and they don't deserve to hear my mouth. Do you really ever feel like telling people exactly what you f***** think. And hopefully they just look at you and say f*** off, or your crazy. I prefer your crazy, lately I seem to fit the stereotypical role. I hate that people can be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid!!!!! My nerves are driving me nuts, and I cannot seem to be nicce. I try to even shut my mouth but it's a challenge. I have trouble believing things too. Whatever ! Ever  sit and wonder if I have BP, then I want to keep BP forever because everyone around me is dumber than a box of rocks. They talk about stupid sh**, find stupid s*** important. mad Maybe it's just me, but i know in like 5 minutes I will be fine, we always are. I just don't want my hostility to show in front of my professional instructors at school or to the surgeons. I worry about someone yelling at me for maybe getting an improper instrument, and i seriously going off on them. That would be bad. I feel I am much better when I am doing something. I like to be in school it keeps me focused most of the time. It is just when I sit here and allow this sh*** get to me. UGhhhhhhhh. Anyways, i guess it is my turn to shut up. i just have so much to say and feel I can't. I feel like a prisoner in my own body and someone is making me stay here and do all sorts of things I don't want to. I am gonna search BPD. I want to know if there is more wrong with me. Not for the sake of  just wanting to be worse and B**** either. I like to understand fully about what is going on with me as to correct the problem the best I can. Shannon write me tomorrow. I hope yopu have a wonderful holiday. I don't like this day. I am however planning Jaylynn a Halloween party so she can entertain her friends and family. I am going to make funny eyeball in rice crispy treats. You know just make the kids have a good time with games and stuff. I think I am crazy, because i don't like to entertain, but it's for her. Anyways, i am thinking about canceling my B- Day party too. But i will still get my picts to ya. ( Shannon) My mood is somber or hostile , i don't f**** know what i am. Angry , hate the stupid people in this world. the Government well, I totally dislike our President and am glad to see his rating's are dropping. Sorry to al, no need to reply, I am just pissy. eyes

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 9/5/2005 12:24 PM (GMT -7)   

Oh, darlin I SOOOOO understand the misery of that feeling.  I really feel for you, hon.

Be glad you don't have to be anywhere today, that's good.  You may be having a reaction to your free time being over.  I am ALWAYS like that  when something I have looked forward to a lot is coming to an end.  Downright inconsolable, hating the world and (almost) everyone in it.  And yes, people are very stupid when you're running faster than they are.  Well, come to think of it, they just plain ARE! yeah

You probably know I've lost more than a few jobs by going off on the boss, lol.  "F*** off" was my most common method!  But even when I didn't go off, I thought everybody else was stupid, slow and lazy.  I coudln't stand them, I ended up doing their f****** jobs for them half the time, because their slowness slowed me down, and I COULDN'T have that!  God!

Most of us are also BPD, at least the ones with abusive childhoods.  No meds for that one, unfortunately.

Keeping busy with creative stuff is the best thing.  I love to bake when I feel like s***, it is calming and keeps my mind busy.  So, go make that eyeball, take a picture of it if you can (digital) and send it to me!  (Along with your pretty a** face, too!) :-)

Oh, babes, don't even get me STARTED on f***** Bush!   I bet I hate him more than you.  I live in the totally wrong right wing, Bush a** licking state! mad

Have a nice day :-)


Variety is the spice of life, BP is the key


Arenace
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 9/5/2005 1:17 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Nick, how do you make those eyeball things??????? Holloween was always my fave holiday when my dad was alive. He always made it soooooo special. He would make all homemade costumes and put all kinds of make-up on me. He'd dress me in all kinds of weird get-ups. I just loved it!!!

I'm so sorry the weather is so bad over your house today, I hope the sun breaks out tomorrow! If not, I send you an umbrella, okay?

Did Shan send you an email? I'm wondering if we should choose Alaska instead of even considering trying to put this fat a** in a bathing suit.

Love you tons Nick,

Sandra

Sandra-BP brings new meaning to Life's Little Ups and Downs


kittycat27
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 438
   Posted 9/6/2005 3:31 AM (GMT -7)   
Yeah I can send ya the recipe on thta one later today. It is really simple. Sorry I still am not in best of moods. I wish I could get outta my head for a few days. I need a vacation from my brain. If I am feeling this bad now, I wonder what October will bring. Is anyone on here like a stars moving, earth person? lol Seriously i am just wondering if something is wrong in the other places. Gosh I hope that makes sense. I can even write. Love to all, i hope I feel better later.

psychnurse
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 9/6/2005 5:18 AM (GMT -7)   

Hey, Nickie -

darn it, You're supposed to be feelng BETTER today!   Dontcha hate with the rapid cycling drops the ball on the BAD moods!  mad

Were you talking about astrology when you said (earth person?)  If so, I LOVE astrology!  I'm actually a fire sign (go figure), but my rising sign is an earth sign.   (Birth chart = more accurate description)

Or, if you're talking about SAD, count me in, BIG TIME!  I have a love/hate relationship with fall - it's my favorite because it's cool (consider where I live), but I usually crash and burn, too. confused

It's wayyyyy early yet, at least it feels too early so Im not totally coherent.  Yet.

I want that recipe!  I love anything with artichokes.  Spinach/artichoke dip on French bread is my favorite of all.

I have a killer recipe site where I get ALL my recipes called recipezaar.com  You should check it out!

Write back when you can i know you have school today.  I think that's your problem, it always happens to lots of us when the party ends. sad

Love ya,

S


Variety is the spice of life, BP is the key

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