Hey all. To all that cares, otherwise don't f***** read. I am not going to offend anyone if they don't read , am I? Anyways, I am tired of people and am really hostile. Like today the phone ringing, that pissed me off. Because when I was on my two-way, my friend asks the most ridiculous question.I feel easily irritated and annoyed. I am due to go in to see the doc. I really don't want to f***** do that either. I am tired of hearing about
my friends stupid , tacky , shi**y , minute problems. I want to be rude, but I am not to them. i was thinking it was probably just me, and they don't deserve to hear my mouth. Do you really ever feel like telling people exactly what you f***** think. And hopefully they just look at you and say f*** off, or your crazy. I prefer your crazy, lately I seem to fit the stereotypical role. I hate that people can be soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo stupid!!!!! My nerves are driving me nuts, and I cannot seem to be nicce. I try to even shut my mouth but it's a challenge. I have trouble believing things too. Whatever ! Ever sit and wonder if I have BP, then I want to keep BP forever because everyone around me is dumber than a box of rocks. They talk about
stupid sh**, find stupid s*** important.
Maybe it's just me, but i know in like 5 minutes I will be fine, we always are. I just don't want my hostility to show in front of my professional instructors at school or to the surgeons. I worry about
someone yelling at me for maybe getting an improper instrument, and i seriously going off on them. That would be bad. I feel I am much better when I am doing something. I like to be in school it keeps me focused most of the time. It is just when I sit here and allow this sh*** get to me. UGhhhhhhhh. Anyways, i guess it is my turn to shut up. i just have so much to say and feel I can't. I feel like a prisoner in my own body and someone is making me stay here and do all sorts of things I don't want to. I am gonna search BPD. I want to know if there is more wrong with me. Not for the sake of just wanting to be worse and B**** either. I like to understand fully about
what is going on with me as to correct the problem the best I can. Shannon write me tomorrow. I hope yopu have a wonderful holiday. I don't like this day. I am however planning Jaylynn a Halloween party so she can entertain her friends and family. I am going to make funny eyeball in rice crispy treats. You know just make the kids have a good time with games and stuff. I think I am crazy, because i don't like to entertain, but it's for her. Anyways, i am thinking about
canceling my B- Day party too. But i will still get my picts to ya. ( Shannon) My mood is somber or hostile , i don't f**** know what i am. Angry , hate the stupid people in this world. the Government well, I totally dislike our President and am glad to see his rating's are dropping. Sorry to al, no need to reply, I am just pissy.