Hi everybody. I will say that I hope everyone is doing well, but I have been catching up on posts, and I am very sorry that so many of us are in a funk. First I want to say how much I have missed you all
. I have been trying to get my crap together, off the board. All this crap w/my sister and company is killing me. I think what is hurting me the most (yes, I have been analyzing daay and nite
) is my brother in law. He and I were doing the best we have ever been in 15+ years. I really thought he was trying and understanding that my actions were not me, but the illness, but I was wrong. I just cant get his voice out of my head, saying I was a crazy person. I actually had a bad dream about
it last nite. I know u all think it will "blow over", but like my husband says it never will blow over. "They have to accept you for what and who u are Pat, and instead, u r dying inside, trying to be accepted by people that arent willing to do so." I have tried so hard, but there isnt anything else I can do. I havent stopped crying since Saturday, my husband is sick with worry. "Why Patti, they dont care. They know you and they know u r dying inside for them,they know how much u need them. If they did u would have heard from them, at least Lauren." So, of course he is blaming himself saying tht if he didnt get angry on the phone with me, I wouldnt have called Vic(sis) and this never would have happened. So, I am trying my darndest to "get it together" for his sake, and mine.Between the stress of his job (ER Doc) and his diabetes, he always feels that I can lean on my sister for support when he cant be there emotionally. But, you all know it doesnt work that way. So onto you all
. Shannon, I am sooo sorry u have been having such a rough time. You have so much to offer us and we ALL appreciate you sooooooo much and you WILL get thru this. Dana, honey I know how hard meds and the baby thing can be. When I was trying to get pregnant, my Neuro put me on 1 med a day (vs 4 that I usually was on for the Epilepsy) and it was not easy. But, being a mom wont be easy either (so I hear), u have to trust someone, why not give your pdoc a chance? You arent preggers now correct? So, you have some leg room there to get your meds straight, then BAM! hopefully you will have great news for us! Ellie, I am glad u r doing whatever it takes to get on your meds. Regardless what your hubbie thinks...this is about
you and getting well, not him (no offense). Sandra, you must be doing well (or terrible..lol!hopefully the former not the latter!) as I havent seen any posts from you lately. Nickie, you seem to be doing well
. I hope all is well with school and all your other pressures.It sure does sound like you have and are aware of Jaylynn's best interests. Bloo, I dont know what happened with you that got u so angry, but as Nickie said it is your choice. Sometimes when I am throwing myself a pity party, I swear that I wont post anymore as nobody wuvs me anymore. Then, things calm down and I know that I love this group and THIS is somewhere that people DO accept PATTI, no matter what she says or does! Because this is a place where we all have a problem that we DID NOT ASK FOR, nor DO WE DESERVE. But, hey life sucks, isnt that why we are all here?