Missing everyone! A lil note to you all

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Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 214
   Posted 9/8/2005 2:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi everybody. I will say that I hope everyone is doing well, but I have been catching up on posts, and I am very sorry that so many of us are in a funk. First I want to say how much I have missed you all sad . I have been trying to get my crap together, off the board. All this crap w/my sister and company is killing me. I think what is hurting me the most (yes, I have been analyzing daay and nite nono  ) is my brother in law. He and I were doing the best we have ever been in 15+ years. I really thought he was trying and understanding that my actions were not me, but the illness, but I was wrong. I just cant get his voice out of my head, saying I was a crazy person. I actually had a bad dream about it last nite. I know u all think it will "blow over", but like my husband says it never will blow over. "They have to accept you for what and who u are Pat, and instead, u r dying inside, trying to be accepted by people that arent willing to do so." I have tried so hard, but there isnt anything else I can do. I havent stopped crying since Saturday, my husband is sick with worry. "Why Patti, they dont care. They know you and they know u r dying inside for them,they know how much u need them. If they did u would have heard from them, at least Lauren." So, of course he is blaming himself saying tht if he didnt get angry on the phone with me, I wouldnt have called Vic(sis) and this never would have happened. So, I am trying my darndest to "get it together" for his sake, and mine.Between the stress of his job (ER Doc) and his diabetes, he always feels that I can lean on my sister for support when he cant be there emotionally. But, you all know it doesnt work that way. So onto you all :-)  . Shannon, I am sooo sorry u have been having such a rough time. You have so much to offer us and we ALL appreciate you sooooooo much and you WILL get thru this. Dana, honey I know how hard meds and the baby thing can be. When I was trying to get pregnant, my Neuro put me on 1 med a day (vs 4 that I usually was on for the Epilepsy) and it was not easy. But, being a mom wont be easy either (so I hear), u have to trust someone, why not give your pdoc a chance? You arent preggers now correct? So, you have some leg room there to get your meds straight, then BAM! hopefully you will have great news for us! Ellie, I am glad u r doing whatever it takes to get on your meds. Regardless what your hubbie thinks...this is about you and getting well, not him (no offense). Sandra, you must be doing well (or terrible..lol!hopefully the former not the latter!) as I havent seen any posts from you lately. Nickie, you seem to be doing well tongue  . I hope all is well with school and all your other pressures.It sure does sound like you have and are aware of Jaylynn's best interests. Bloo, I dont know what happened with you that got u so angry, but as Nickie said it is your choice. Sometimes when I am throwing myself a pity party, I swear that I wont post anymore as nobody wuvs me anymore. Then, things calm down and I know that I love this group and THIS is somewhere that people DO accept PATTI, no matter what she says or does! Because this is a place where we all have a problem that we DID NOT ASK FOR, nor DO WE DESERVE. But, hey life sucks, isnt that why we are all here?
Love to you all,
Epilepsy (31 years)  Keppra (300mg x 4 per day), Valium-myoclonic jerks PRN/as neeed 
Colitis (5years)  Donnatal, Entocort EC 3mg (3 a day, started 7/14/05, tapering to 2 a day 8/12/05) Probiotic VSL#3 began 8/17/05
Infertility (20 years) in vitro fertilazation 3 times with no success/ Just a HUGE bill!!!!
Migraines/daily headaches (5 years) Fioricet
Bi-Polar (4 ever) Depakote and Effexor 150mg
Restless leg syndrome (3 years) Neurontin 300mg 1per day                                                                                                                                           

Ellie 1
Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 9/8/2005 4:12 PM (GMT -6)   
You are so sweet. I hope things get better between you and your family. I'm not close with mine anymore so I won't even pretend to understand but I know you're hurting. Take care of yourself, you deserve it.

Regular Member

Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 9/8/2005 4:26 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Pats, Thank you so much for your good wishes. Unfortuneately it was the latter. Junped of the bridge in to a mixed episode. Pdoc changed my meds and Shan kept me talking and doing and hopefully all will be well.

I'm so sorry things are not well for you. I hope they calm down soon. I don't know if they will ever get like they used to be, but if they calm down at tleast that will help. Tell your husband it wasn't his fault that your sister and her husband are being so pig headed!! And Patti, stop feeling like it is your fault too. It's not. People act like they want to act and you can't stop it. Sometimes people are just comfortable in their poor behaviour. Sad really.

Love you,


BP brings new meaning to Life's Little Ups and Downs

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 807
   Posted 9/8/2005 4:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Pats!  I was starting to think you didn't love ME anymore!  It's not like you to ignore an email.  I'm so sorry you're doing bad.  I think we all are.  Fact is, Kev is right, you can't force people to accept you (the disorder, therefore you).  It is sad that people like to live in their stupidity and ignorance.  At least we're smarter than that.
You always have us, anytime you feel lousy, or great, whatever that particular day's wind blows you.
Try to just remember they aren't worth you getting all clinically depressed and sick over; Shame on your sister, shame.  Very, very petty. 
Variety is the spice of life, BP is the key

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