Nickie, I'm so sorry. I was really tight with my Grampa too, and he actually died in my arms. I will never forget that, and I just try to remember all the great times, I know it sounds cliche. Figures you would be having a bad time on teh day of his birthday. Your post actually made me cry, I so understand trying to hide the "bad" part of ourselves. You have done nothing, repeat NOTHING wrong here! Speaking your mind does not make you bad! We all NEED each other! I honestly don'tknow what I would do without all of you, it's such a lonely existence all alone with it. I mean, no other BPs to share with, because nobody understands like we do.
I wish I could make it better for you. I don't understand death, either, and I would be inconsolable if something happened to Paul, for eternity.
Can you get Jason to watch Jaylynn when he gets home? You need to have some chill time, to try to recharge. YOu carry an awful load with school, home life and being a mom.
BP brings new meaning to Life's Little Ups and Downs