Hi Honey. Yeah, I am alive, if that is what u call it. Thanks for thinking of me. All this depression is getting the best of me.
Need to learn how to deal better.(bad today, good yesterdy). My sister says that I only think about
myself and its "all about
me". She called Kev, but he hasnt called her back cuz he has been working constantly. She said (in an email) that he just doesnt want to hear what she has to say. However he is very tired. I think I told u all that he is diabetic, and he like me, doesnt understand how she doesnt realize how much her words are killing me. To be healthy (mentally and physically) and still be so hurtful and not take responsibility for hurting others, just BLAMING it all on me. I mean I DO NOT have the POWER to be the one at fault EVERYTIME
. Enough of that, here is a happier story.
I got to talk to Lauren yesterday. I was talking to Annette (our friend w/cancer) and her daughters b-day party was Sat., and Annette said "Pat can u hold on a minit..I say, sure".... she puts the phone on speaker (of course I didnt know what she is doing, I am just holding on for her)then like a concert, all the girls from my sisters neighborhood say (at the same time) "Hi Aunt Patti, We love you and we miss you!" I swear to God you guys, I thought I died and went to heaven
. I LOVE them all so much it actually hurts. I mean how friggin' sweet of Annette to do that!!! Again, I guess you have to be sick to understand how deep our emotions run, and our needs. So, I dont know who all is at her house, I just hear a bunch of girls saying that..she says Lauren is here. I said tell her I love her. She said "how 'bout u tell her. So lauren gets on the phone, and we talked for a few minits and I told her, " be extra nice to Sara (Annette's daughter), remember baby her Mommy is sick." She said," Dont worry Aunt Patti, I promise I will." so that made me feel LIKE a million dollars. Plus Kevin adores Annette. He has SOOO much respect for her.Her strength..3 bouts of cancer, a single mom, no one to help her, etc... it is so sad you all. I mean the poor thing cant even get groceries!!!! She was going to stop the Chemo as it was just too much,but she wanted to talk to Kev 1st and kevin talked to her about
it. She has decided to continue w/it. I am so happy about
that. she asked if when we get back to Fort Laud., if we could all get together. So, when I go back over there (at the end of the month, after my cousin's daughter's homecoming..Kev and I HAVE to be over here (Punta gorda) for that!) So kevin invited her and Sara and what ever other kids can come (hopefully Lauren), to the house(Ft. Laud.) for a cook out. She was crying, "Oh thank you guys sooo much. I cant wait to go swimming in your pool!" Again, when u r ill, the little things others take for granted mean so much to us, and people like Annette. I have been spending everyday w/my cousin here on the west coast of Florida. She is THE BEST. She lives about
15+ miles away, has 4 kids (between her kids and her fiancee's kids) a demanding job, an ****** for an exhubbie..but comes down here (Punt Gorda) to get me EVERYDAY!!! She tells me that she cant get enough of me and neither can her kids. Sorry i am rambling, but I have more to say..so I will start a new thread so to finish. (only good things)! Guess what, I FEEL GOOD just from telling my loved ones (you ladies and gents) how happy these people make me! If u want to read the rest (I hope u do) i will title the thread "part 2 of Pats are u ok". i love you all so much. Thnks for caring about
me. I am not used to it, but I am getting there! ON TO PART 2
All my love,
Epilepsy (31 years) Keppra (300mg x 4 per day), Valium-myoclonic jerks PRN/as neeed
Colitis (5years) Donnatal, Entocort EC 3mg (3 a day, started 7/14/05, tapering to 2 a day 8/12/05) Probiotic VSL#3 began 8/17/05
Infertility (20 years) in vitro fertilazation 3 times with no success/ Just a HUGE bill!!!!
Migraines/daily headaches (5 years) Fioricet
Bi-Polar (4 ever) Depakote and Effexor 150mg
Restless leg syndrome (3 years) Neurontin 300mg 1per day