BP brings new meaning to Life's Little Ups and Downs
Arghh! Just had a nice reply to everyone completed when my internet connection failed. So, until I have the energy to write it again, I just want to say thank you to everyone for your generous welcome. It was pretty obvious after reading only a few threads that there are many kind, understanding and extremely knowledgeable people on this board.
Oh, and Nickie, you've basically got the concept of "remission" right--just the terms a little backwards. When I became stable, I went into remission--the illness obviously wasn't gone, I just wasn't suffering from any episodes for a long time. And now, well, it's back!.......
Hi, Clio! Welcome aboard!
Your ahem, "novel" was the story of all of us, you will find that out the longer you're here.
Unfortunately, finding the "perfect" cocktail is great - until it stops working so perfectly. I have been dealing with this since childhood, even elementary school. Actually, longer than that, it started with horrible terrifying dreams when I was a toddler that I STILL remember. The dreams (nightmares, actually) continued until I finally took meds. Well, I'm 40 now and started meds a year and a half ago. Talk about denial.
I was formally diagnosed at 25 because I came within a hair of slitting my wrists. The doc was very bright, and actually diagnosed me on the spot. I started lithium and felt much better than I ever had. So I took it for a while, but the blood tests were a pain and it made me tired, so I quit and lived hypomanic until age 35, tried depakote. Fine. I had a mania breakthrough so bad I ran of with some guy I had known for 2 weeks. (Ihave been married for 12 years, that was 5 yrs ago). So after that, bad alcoholism and script dependancy to the point of not remembering an entire year, and bankrupting us in a matter of months I got help. It was great, and like you I thought I would be that way forever. It lasted 6 months. I do adjust and add meds pretty often. I am on Lamictal among several others, I'm type I rapid cycler. I think Lamictal rules! But, it's nowhere near strong enough to stabilize me, or most other type I, esp rapid cyclers, and it's recommended to be used with another mood stabilizer even in type II if your hypomania is bad. There is also a registered pharmacist here who is awesome. Besides Epival, there is Trileptal and Abilify. I just started abilify 3 days ago, trying to adjust to it. That makes three mood stabilizers I take now with an antipsychotic and antidepressant. Lamictal is great for depression in BPs, interestingly it doesn't work that way with non BP depression. hell, I'll take it! It pulled me out of a bad depression (bedridden kind) last fall, and I am praying it prevents that from happening this fall. If you are having more trouble than usual, it's because fall and spring do that, it's the change in light.
Just be really careful you dont' stay in a hypomanic state, it's easy to think it's working really well, when your in that state, so ask your fiancee to watch carefully for the signs. My hubby is almost as good as a pdoc now!!! It sounds like he is interested in learning about it, good for him and bless his heart, it's not easy on the spouses. I just want to hug and kiss the ones who stick it out with caring and love.
I hope you'll stay here, it's a great bunch of people, so caring and understanding, because we've all been through hell and done horrible things. Nobody judges here, we're all in the same boat. Dont be afraid to share some stories with us when you feel comfortable enough.
Post Edited (psychnurse) : 9/21/2005 2:53:49 PM (GMT-6)
Ah, yes, the people sent to kill you. I have been shot, stabbed, drowned and pushed off tall buildings so many times......
I guess that puts an end to the theory that if you die in your dreams, you die for real!
But, I did learn to fight back and I offed several enemies, too, lol. Ok, it's middle of night, cant sleep, will write later. I hope you are doing well this a.m., Clio!