I haven't been able to really follow your postings because I am fairly new to the site. However, I wanted to know if your son was bipolar. I know how it is to be like your son, because I myself was there too. I cannot imagine what I put my family through, even though my mother and I have begun to straighten things out (over a long period of time) but when my bipolar really started was when I was acting like that. I was out all the time with the car, my parents never really knowing where I was. And to be honest, I don't think I even knew. I was too manic to hold onto or have any control of my life.
You sound like a wonderful mother, and a lot like my own. I would just encourage you to talk with your son, honestly and openly...tell him how it makes you feel when he does this, and how it affects your life, because after all, you are his mother, the individual who loves him more than anyone. When my parents openly spoke with me about it, was when I really turned around and tried to get a hold of my life and began dealing with the bipolar.
I wish you the best with your son; honesty and speaking in love is always the best medicine! Good luck, *Sarah