Bipolar Husband

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Brkitty
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/17/2016 4:05 PM (GMT -6)   
I am in need of help deciding what to do with my marriage. I have been with my husband 10 years married 7. We have two small children and have been reasonably happy. We love eachother but my husband has always had bouts of depression and during those times has always leaned on other women for help rather than me. This has only happened during his depressions and he has never had a physical affair before now. Last year he had a PTSD trigger at the same time that the depression hits. He was extremely depressed for 3 months refusing any help and if I pushed he would demand a divorce. He said he couldn't feel love for me but that he did know he loved me before the depression hit. Finally after 3 months he checked himself into the hospital after loosing his cool with our young son in the car and scaring our son and almost having an accident. He was put on both welbutrin for depression and Zoloft for anxiety and he improved quickly. Witching 3 weeks he was near his old self again. He began seeing a therapist and we also started marriage counseling. He was great and very regretful for the hurt he had caused and then after another 3 weeks he changed. He started telling me he had a lot in his head, he couldn't trust anyone couldn't trust me, everyone was lying to him, he said he was fighting it and he knew it wasn't real and I wouldn't loose him again. This went on for about 10 days, I got a message saying please don't walk away from me and the next night he never came home. I had to have the police find him which they did coming from a highschool ex girlfriends house. She had wanted him back for years and he never was interested before. Upon coming home he said he never loved me, he wasted 10 years of his life with me and everything he had said and done the last few months to fix our relationship was a lie and he did it for duty. He says he isn't sorry and has no regrets for hurting me. When I ask why he would do this he won't tell me anything except it isn't time for me to know and he says I have been telling him how to feel all these years and he won't let me in his head again. He was then diagnosed bipolar hypo manic I fortunately already had permission to talk to his dr. He is on depkakote and has been for 6 weeks but also was still in welbutrin as he had to be weaned off. I have seen no improvement. He sees our kids but doesn't talk to me unless he has to. He won't look me in the face. He is staying with this woman but won't move any property and doesn't want to change any accounts but wants a divorce. In so confused. He has suffered in his life both sexual and physical abuse and has just now begun therapy for that. Once before I met him he did this same thing quitting his job leaving his roommate possessions and his lease for a girl he knew two weeks and came back 2 months later saying he made a mistake. He insists he was never happy but we were, he wants a divorce and Denys the bipolar. Dr thinks he is lying about taking his meds and he hasn't taken any blood tests. I'm in love with him and if it's illness I will forgive the affair but I'm afraid I'm hanging on to someone who won't come back and I'm so lost. I'd like to hear from anyone who has been on either side of this. His older son (another mom) has bipolar and is on depkakote successfully. I know diagnosis is correct he is just making me doubt myself saying I'm the one that's messed up and in dental.

Post Edited By Moderator (UserANONYMOUS) : 4/18/2016 6:08:13 AM (GMT-6)


Brkitty
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/17/2016 4:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for spelling errors I'm on a cell and upset lol

Brkitty
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/17/2016 8:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you!

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4381
   Posted 4/18/2016 6:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Brkitty,

Welcome to the forum!

I am sorry for what you are currently going through. It can be tough dealing with someone who is Bipolar.

If he does not want to listen, he may not be willing to change at this time. It hurts, but sometimes we need to move on. I would suggest you use this time to take care of yourself. Change your focus and focus on you for a bit. Maybe during this time, he'll come around. If possible, seek counselling for yourself as it can be very helpful.

I hope things will get better for you.

Included a title for your post.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

Post Edited (UserANONYMOUS) : 4/18/2016 6:07:39 AM (GMT-6)


Brkitty
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/18/2016 10:21 AM (GMT -6)   
I am seeing a therapist and am taking an anxiety Med as well. It helps but no matter what it's hard. I'm keeping busy and working on my kids and my house and am taking the kids to counseling as well.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4381
   Posted 4/18/2016 10:59 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Brkitty,

You are definitely on the right track. You have made a very good decision to attend therapy and take your kids as well.

You are correct. It can be hard especially when you feel like you're alone in this. Please know that we are here for you. Staying busy helps. Be sure to use your coping techniques when you feel overwhelmed. I find deep breathing and journaling helps, as well as positive distraction techniques.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

Brkitty
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2016
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 4/18/2016 2:43 PM (GMT -6)   
I really appreciate the support and advice. I write poetry and am journaling. I have written some of my best works with what's happening in my life now. Sadly the greater a writers suffering the greater the poem. It helps though to put that pain somewhere else instead of keeping it inside.

cilly
Veteran Member


Date Joined Aug 2014
Total Posts : 1345
   Posted 4/18/2016 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Sure dear,I was in same shoes as you once.

Discover yourself and try to be positive.We are with you.

The journey is not easy and you will find yourself and your strengths.
Cilly

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4381
   Posted 4/20/2016 8:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Yes it does.
But sometimes depression and other things get the better of us. Keep on writing though. Even if you don't write as much as before. It would still help.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

MissME
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2016
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 5/12/2016 5:52 PM (GMT -6)   
I am looking for someone to talk to as I am in a similar situation.
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Wednesday, October 18, 2017 7:14 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,883,639 posts in 316,441 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 157538 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, salfelci.
328 Guest(s), 11 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Erichardson234, older guy, countingstarsx, bleepitybleep, 81GyGuy, Kent M., luckylibra, tickbite666, readingmom, sgagsa345454546, J24O90


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2017 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer