don't know if anyone remembers me

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starlite
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 11/18/2005 1:27 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't know if anyone remembers me, I was on here a bit ago, but I guess I can reintroduce myself since i feel like I'm new here again.  I've actually been dxed as schizo-affective since 94' (schitzophrenic, rapid-cycling bi-polar, anxiety disorder and a couple more but these three are the biggies).  I'm currently taking lithium, ativan, trazadone, and seriquil.   As I'm sure everyone here, it's ups and downs.  Unfortunatly I've been on a manic high for about 4 days, hopefully I'll come down soon.  (I think the insomnia gets me the most sometimes.  Anyway, I've been limited to the library computer untill tonight when thanks to yet another new credit card (arggg) I finally got my own.  Not good getting the new card, I know, but hopefully this thing can keep me company on nights like this when the sleep just won't come.  Life has been crazy lately....a death in the family, another one having to have a double masectomy, 2 aunts hospitalized for serious heart problems, another aunt having to go back to chemo, oh yeh, and one of my best friends having to have emergency brain surgury-------all since sat.  Just a little stress :(  I know that helped with my being manic.  Most people ( or so I've read)  like when there manic, but personally it lost it's appeal about yesterday.  Terrified of the low I'm about to hit, praying it won't be that bad.  Well, now that I've rambled for a minute, I better quit, before I write a book.  Thanks for listening

Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.
 
the only way a butterfly can emerge is through the darkness of its cocoon.
 
The sky is not the limit......nor the stars......
                     Mel


Arenace
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 249
   Posted 11/18/2005 4:43 AM (GMT -7)   
Starlite, I remember you. I'm sorry you are manic. It's not a good place to be. I read that people like the mania, but I don't personally actually know anyone who does. And most of us who have been at this for a while hate the crash that follows the high. It sounds like the happenings in your life lately would be enough to cause the strongest of us to crumble. I think you are handling it remarkably well! I know that I would be colapsing in a pile of tears and anger and all things ugly!! LOL

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Sandra

BP brings new meaning to Life's Little Ups and Downs


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 11/18/2005 1:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Sorry you're feeling so bad Starlite. I can deal with being hypo but shooting to the moon with true mania really stinks. There is no attraction to getting no sleep for days at a time.
Credit cards can be risky for us but I'm glad you got the comp. At least you can reach out. I've been dealing with quite a bit of stress myself lately and healingwell really helps me keep it all together.
Its nice to see you here again.
Ellie

starlite
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 11/19/2005 3:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Ellie and Sandra, for your comments, and for just remembering me.  i have this fear that everyone i meet, just disreguards me.  been that way for just about ever.  anyway, i did finally get some sleep.....slept for 20 hrs, and unfortunatly the depression has set in.  its not as deep as i thought it would be, but it's only a couple steps up.  God i hate this disease!!!!  sometimes i just want a day off!!!!!  don't get me wrong the medication does about all it will do, and i've been a guinee pig with them since i was dxed.  finally got a cocktail that i can deal with but unfortunately they don't take all the symptoms away,,they just kind of filter them down((and don't get me wrong, i'm gratefull), but like i said a day off from everything  would definatly be a godsend!!!!!  any suggestions would be appreciated :)

Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.
 
the only way a butterfly can emerge is through the darkness of its cocoon.
 
The sky is not the limit......nor the stars......
                     Mel


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 11/19/2005 11:17 PM (GMT -7)   
I really don't have that many problems with depression. I run more the high end of the spectrum. I experience severe depression only a handful of times a decade. I had a mild depressed episode this fall but more reactional than anything else and resolved on its own.
I would think if you are depressed enough that you're sleeping for twenty hours at a crack, your meds may not be doing all they should be. I'd give my pdoc a call just to see what he thinks. I don't have as much experience with meds as alot on this board but it just doesn't sound right.
Hope this finds you feeling better
Ellie

starlite
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2005
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 11/19/2005 11:49 PM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for the concern Ellie.  I'm on my way to feeling better, getting there anyway.  The 20 hour nap came after a severly manic episode within i didn't sleep at all for a total of 5 days.  I have been in contact with my pdoc and have an appt on the 21st.  It may sound  crazy sleeping that long, but my body ( and my mind) was completly exhausted!  Hopefully I'll reach some kind of ballace ( well, as ballanced as i can be ) soon.  Unfortunatly I have a sensitivity to seasonal changes as well, so I"ll just have to ride it out for a while.

take care

melissa

 


Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.
 
the only way a butterfly can emerge is through the darkness of its cocoon.
 
The sky is not the limit......nor the stars......
                     Mel


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 11/20/2005 12:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Ahh, to sleep more than 4 or 5 hours at a time. I might pull it off once a month. I'm like a child when it comes to sleeping. I won't actrually lie down and try to sleep. It has to overtake me and drag me kicking and screaming to dreamland.
Your sleeping for that long a period of time isn't quite so alarming taking into consideration you hadn't slept in five days. Even heavily manic I don't think I've ever gone that long. Wow.
I'm just hoping my 2 year old goes to sleep soon. She went to bed at 9 and was back up at 12. Apparently she thinks she's had a nap and is being VERY resistant to going back to sleep. I on the other hand, have to be up early to get the kids ready for church. I don't think she cares at all. lol.
Goodnight Melissa
Ellie
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