Bipolar wife doesn't think she needs her medication.

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UserANONYMOUS
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Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4384
   Posted 2/13/2017 6:46 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jay,

Sorry things turned. I am glad you have a stable job now.

Please do not blame yourself for what is happening. Remember that you just did what is best for your daughter to ensure that she has a stable home because of how much you care for her and want to make sure she is safe.
You may feel bad about it's what best for your daughter right now. I admire you for thinking about her first. It shows that you deeply care about her.

Remember to take care of yourself. We are always here for you.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

Tim Tam
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2016
Total Posts : 1024
   Posted 2/13/2017 6:06 PM (GMT -6)   
My concern would be, that you will work very hard to get back to your wife. Then she will say, then we need to get back together as a family.

Then you will go to bat for her, and tell the judge how wonderful she is, she needs to be back helping to raise the child as a family unit.

I've had double experience with that. My wife as the mother and "co-care taker" of our child, and my daughter in law as the mother and "caretaker" of her child (my grandchild).

Both were planned disasters. The now grown grandson (my daughter in laws son) has had nothing to do with his mother since he's been out on his own for 2 years).

I now have had nothing to do with my now 40-year-old son now going on 40 days and counting, because of the problems my wife and I had in our marriage, which mimicks your marriage.

Your daughter, 1,200 miles away, is in the best possible position she could be in, unless she was 1,500 miles away.

You don't understand how wonderful of a situation she is in. Your efforts to get back with your wife, which I predict, will be great for you and your wife, for about 15 minutes, but disastrous for your daughter. I predict. I've seen it happen twice in my life.

They can't destroy if they can't get around. That's where you come in. You've seen her mocking and emotionally abusing your child. Please take that into consideration.

Post Edited (Tim Tam) : 2/13/2017 5:10:05 PM (GMT-7)


clo2014
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Date Joined Feb 2015
Total Posts : 678
   Posted 2/13/2017 7:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Jay,

Just checking in. I wanted to say again that you are doing the right thing by putting your child first. I commend you.

Please know that no one else's experience will be your experience. Your situation may have one little action or reaction that is just enough different for you to have a better outcome.

Best of luck!
Clo
06/12-07/14 symptoms start, no diagnosis.12/14 diagnosed UC & diverticulitis. 01/15 hosp- fistulas, DX changed to Crohns, 02/15 developed new skin rashes, eye problems and painful joints 06/15 Hosp.2x again.. new specialist.Said was worse case he's seen. 7/16 hosp 5mm Stricture stricturplasty to 15 mm.09/16 colostomy. Meds: Remicade, methtrexate, prednison,folic acid, vit D, calcium, pro biotic,

JayGatsby
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2016
Total Posts : 13
   Posted 2/14/2017 3:34 PM (GMT -6)   
clo - I know she's safe but I miss my little girl and she misses home. For the sake of my little girl having stability and my wife getting the help she needs I hope for a better outcome as well.

UA - I appreciate the kind words, I find it hard to not blame myself,especially with my wife having painted me as the enemy. I have an inherent tendency to overthink so it has been particularly difficult. It feels like my family has fallen apart...no matter how I try to paint it differently in my head.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4384
   Posted 2/15/2017 10:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey Jay,

Despite you thoughts, always remember that you did what is best for your daughter and you put her first. This is what makes you a great dad to your daughter.

I hope things will get better for you.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

cat1259
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2017
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 2/17/2017 3:58 PM (GMT -6)   
Jay,

I am sorry you are going through all of this. But if you wife doesn't want to take her meds you can't force her. All I can tell is that take care of yourself and your child. Get the help that you both need, and you may have to make some hard choices. But those choices could save you and your daughters lives. You are in my prayers.
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