I understand the irritability. I too, have moments where i just fly off the handle. The other day my teen daughter was looking for something and took it upon herself to empty out the entire bottom of my closet (you'd have to see this closet to understand the scope of the mess, organized I'm not) When I went into my room there was stuff wall to wall, my floor, rocker, bed and my daughters toddler bed were all covered with assorted junk. I just went nuts. I know the neighbors thought I had lost my mind for real. I think maybe for a minute there I did. But I caught myself. Pulled back and walked away.
I don't spank my kids, but I do yell sometimes and I feel guilty for not being June Cleaver. (old tv show, you may be too young to catch that) It's hard being a parent at the best of times but when your emotions are up and down with bp and you're trying to be a wife and parent it can be so overwhelming.
I've found it useful to stand in the shower when I feel like I'm drowning with the kids. It's one place I can be alone, usually, (my 2 year old cares nothing for boundries.) I've had some really squeaky clean days. Posting here helps too. Many of us here are parents. Sometimes I sit on my front porch with the baby gate closed at the top of the stairs but the front door
open so I can still see my 2 year old. Breathing room is often the key.
Are you seeing a pdoc or gp for this? On any meds? If you're feeling really out of control and in a place in time where you are a danger to yourself or others DO NOT WAIT until the 20th. Get help immediately. You are important and your family needs you. You must take care of yourself to take care of them. It sounds as though you are walking a very fine line. Make sure you don't fall.
Take care and God Bless
Post Edited (Ellie 1) : 12/8/2005 10:40:56 PM (GMT-7)