Has anyone lost literally everything, because of severe mental illness?

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Kiwibear
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 4/23/2017 5:16 PM (GMT -6)   
I am recently diagnosed with Bipolar 1, rapid cycler. I am almost 50, and I am ashamed necause of my mental illness. What's left of my astranged family has discarded me as if I were trash. My eighty year old emailed me to tell me of my mother's death. Spending four months in the psychiatric ward he never visited, called or sent a card. I have joined support groups, take my medication and adhere to my doctors' appointments. Still I struggle and try to get through the day. Walking around the city involves sun glasses because I tend to have periodic tearful moments and I tend to walk with my head down. Has anyone else felt or presently feel this way? Your sharing would be really appreciated.

Tim Tam
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2016
Total Posts : 1023
   Posted 4/23/2017 7:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Kiwi:

I have Bipolar 1, also.

I take 700mg of Lithium and 7.5mg of Mirtazapine anti-depressant.

My mother’s mother had Bipolar back in the 1930’s, 1940s and mid 1950s.

They did not have any treatment for Bipolar at that time, and I think they diagnosed people with that as Schizophrenic.

I’ve even seen psych books from the mid 1960s which may not have even listed manic-depression, but again, said the behavior was Schizophrenia.

So at least we got misdiagnosed as Depressed, not Schizophrenic. I bet those people also got upset about being misdiagnosed.

My grandmother was very much wanting to calm herself, since Lithium was not around, and when visiting in homes, would go into medicine cabinets and take whatever pills were there hoping for some relief. She would also go into bars.

She also spent some years in mental institutions.

You said, “My psychiatrist informed me while I was thankfully hospitalized, he said it takes time and detailed documentation to form an accurate diagnosis."

"Personally I had six different psychiatrists inaccurately diagnosed me; all diagnosis were on an outpatient structure. It wasn't until I was hospitalized and under their care and many eyes observing me; I finally got an accurate diagnosis”

Were you dx’d as Depressive all of those six times? Were you given just an anti-depressant each of those 6 times, rather than something like Lithium to counter balanced it, so you wouldn’t go into mania with the anti-depressant alone?

When given just an anti-dep., what would your behavior be?

What were some of the other dx’s and meds?

Who was it who emailed you of your mother’s death, your eighty year old father?

You were dx’d at almost 50. How old were you when you first started having trouble?

Bipolar I think is often inherited. Did your parents or grandparents have that? Sometimes it can skip a generation, so your parents may not have had it. Maybe it can make us feel less guilty knowing it was inherited.

What happened with the family situation?

My situation somewhat different but somewhat the same. With me, it was finding out that I had a bad marriage when our child was 3, which was the start of 29 years of rough going.

I was not able to leave the marriage, didn’t really want to because of the child and my finances and problems, so instead of not being out of the family and having a tough time,

I stayed in the house and the marriage and had a tough time.

You say, “Still I struggle and try to get through the day.” What are the tough parts of your day?

When I was depressed, I would cry. Is that what is getting to you?

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 19782
   Posted 4/24/2017 2:39 AM (GMT -6)   
yes........in answer to your topic / question, and am gaining a new life from it as well.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4381
   Posted 4/24/2017 5:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kiwibear,

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. Sometimes I feel this way and I lose hope as well. But, in order to feel better, we have to keep fighting it and move forward even if it is one step at a time.

If you feel like crying, let it out. It is okay. Sometimes, we feel better after crying.

I am glad you are fighting despite your daily struggles.

Please know that we are here for you.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

Kiwibear
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 4/24/2017 7:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your kind replies and your sharing. Tim Tam, I will do my best to answer your questions. Yes, misdiagnosed with depression and PTD, and given counselling and or effexor. Oh yes Manic and depressive, spending money, driving risky, always thinking a group a work hated me and no ci centration. I also have a learning disabilty that didnt belp any of my thirty jobs, and provoided a very unstable home life with my outbursts and crying. Its like my x husband had two children. He should of locked me up and got me treatment.

Yes my eighty year old father emailed me to tell me of my mothers death. No invite and he knows I live on assistance to maybe try to help me out with a ti ket and place to stay. He also didn't come see me in the hospital either when I did try suicide by swolli g my medication all of it. My daughter won't invite me to her wedding as she said she doesnt have room. I tried getting help over the years and just misdiagnosed, until now. I live in a different place with better doctors and I finally got the help.
I would say eighteen approx. This nightmare started and almost fifty, treated,broke, living on assistance with no hope for my family to trust me and respect me. I am ashamed, insecure and fearful. I am on my knees asking to have my dad visit me and my daughter to forgive me. Believe me I am trying and lots of crying. Thank you for your compassion.

UserANONYMOUS
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2011
Total Posts : 4381
   Posted 4/25/2017 6:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Kiwibear,

It can be tough when we want need our family but there are not there or willing to accept certain thing about us.

Most importantly is that you were seeking help and you did not give up on trying to get it. I am glad you now have the help. Please know that you are not alone in this. We are always here for you.

UA
Moderator - Bipolar

Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder.
Chronic Pain - Cervical Kyphosis, Cervical Spondylosis, Thoracic Scoliosis.

Kiwibear
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 4/26/2017 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you UN, my eyes are filled with soroowful tears and you and others offer kindness and counsel. Believe it or not the people hear give me comfort enough to get through the next few hours. Kind Regardssmile

Kiwibear
New Member


Date Joined Apr 2017
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 4/26/2017 11:43 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome everybody, I am looking forward to hearing about you.
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