whats the best ways 2 support a boyfriend with bp

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ejrjwk
New Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 12/21/2005 9:30 AM (GMT -7)   
im hoping some1 can give me suggestions or ideas on how 2 b supportive 2 my boyfriend. ive read that it important 2 b supportive but im not really sure how 2 do that. 1st of all he isnt recieciving any treatment and seems 2 b in denial about the whole situation. he also has problems with drugs and alcohol. i really dont know what 2 do except learn as much as i can 2 try 2 understand what he going through. our relationship is close 2 being destroyed 4 good and something needs 2 b done. he is my bestfriend and im 7 months pregnant with his baby and i dont want 2 lose him. im also having a problem forgiving him for cheating on me it hurts so bad and im angry with him 4 it. everytime i start 2 forgive him 4 it and start 2 trust him again i catch him again. it all just built up inside me i want 2 forgive him. im scared the cheating wil never stop and nothing will ever get better 4 him or 4 us im scared this will damage our relationship beyond repair.    

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 12/21/2005 10:16 AM (GMT -7)   
First ejrjwk, he must want help. Bipolar disorder in itself is difficult to say the least, but you throw drugs and alcohol into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.
You can tell him you love him, that you're there for him if he needs to talk but he needs to seek treatment if he wants you back, just my opinion, but you certainly don't want to expose your child to his lifestyle.
I have a friend who tried to be supportive to her husband who had drug and alcohol issues, (mental health ones as well it seemed) and while she did NOT participate in his activities, the state still came in and took all four of her children. Two years later they severed her rights and she didn't even get visitation. This is something she will regret all her life.
I know you love him, but make your child your priority. Nothing is more precious than that baby. I know it's his baby too but being able to create a child doesn't necessarily make one father material. This is certainly difficult for you, and I for one know first hand how frightening a prospect single parenthood can seem. But sometimes it ends up being the easiest and most beneficial route.
Hang in there hon.
Keep posting, we're here for you
Ellie

MEMT
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 1/4/2006 1:47 PM (GMT -7)   
ejrjwk your story was mine about four years ago with the exception of cheating. I tried all I could to support my ex but his denial went beyond.  To top it off he was a meth junkie and when he was high on meth and in a manic state the mix for us anyways was down right leathel.  So I left and tried to learn all I could about his disorder and 6 month after I left him I went back with allot more knowledge of Bi-polar disoder.  Agian things where good he was clean off meth but still drinking and smokeing pot. This is when I learned that when he was in a manic state he was dangerous all together even when he wasn't on meth.  This time he turned his mania on to our child who was only 9 months old at the time. He shook her on a Saturday I was gone the Monday morning.  I am not saying that you BF will become violent but denial is never a good thing.  Be supportive the best you can but at the same time be very very careful for you and your child.  Michelle
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