Wow - you are really in the thick of it with the family - you are a saint for even being able to deal with the visit, let alone sit at the same table.
Have you ever asked your doctor about a mood stabilizer? I know that sounds lame and rather obvious, but I was feeling a lot like you about a month ago - anxious, paniky, up and down, felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. I ended up at the doctor and he suggested that I start back on the effexor I had been taking since it worked so well for my anxiety before - he was leary to try anything else since I'm pretty sensitive to medication. I am brutally opposed to that option since it was such a pain to get off. Anyway - long story short. I hadn't been very diligent about taking my mood stabilizer, depakote, and decided that maybe I should buckle down and get that straightened out first. I did, made sure that I took it religously and stuck with the right dose and it made a huge help. Whether it is by pacebo or not, I think that settling out on the mood stabilizer made a huge difference and I don't need anything extra right now (that might all change tomorrow). I did some reading and some theories suggest that mania might play into the whole anxiety thing and may make it more difficult to find the right medication combo.
The point of my ramble (i've been cooped up in my office all day) is that mood stabilizers are usually pretty cheap and quick to kick in and they might offer some relief until you can get the more expensive drugs sorted out. Everybody is so different though and its such an annoying game that we have to play to find the right mix.
You are in my thoughts and prayers Ellie - take care of yourself,